3 out of 10
Release Date: 5th July 2013
Director: Stuart St.Paul (Freight)
Cast: Francis Rossi, Rick Parfitt, Craig Fairbrass, Laura Aikman, Matt Kennard, Jean Heard and Jon Lovitz
Writer: Jean Heard & Stuart St.Paul
Trailer: BULA QUO!
Way less offensive than his earlier ‘current affairs’ driven movie Freight, film director Stuart St. Paul and family return with this loopy attempt at popular comedy. Is it better than Freight? Not really but at least it looks like everybody had fun and got a free holiday in Fiji – so why complain? Well if there was anybody out there who was wondering whether or not Status Quo (yes Status Quo the rock band) could act, here’s their chance to find out. All five of the current members of the band are present but the film mainly revolves around a fictional tour in Fiji where lead members Francis Rossi and Ricky Parfitt get involved with some nasty gangsters lead by Jon Lovitz (CITY SLICKERS 2). Oh oh.
Coming across like the missing link to the Cannon and Ball vehicle Boys In Blue and Condor Man flicks of the 1980s that would star obscure stars (to film) – the plot sees our two leads get embroiled with body part smugglers and find themselves on the run with only an inept Fiji-an transport system and their muscle bound manager, Simon (CRAIG FAIRBRASS – GET LUCKY) to keep them out of trouble. Only they keep on getting deeper into trouble by themselves and with even more help from their lippy intern Caroline (LAURA AIKMAN – THE KEITH LEMON FILM). And on it goes.
Bula Quo! is pretty much an excuse to soak in the idyllic Fiji locales and scratch your head whilst you watch the actors and musicians struggle to remember their marks and lines from scene to scene. There are stunts in here somewhere but they’re all performed in slow motion (and badly choreographed) by our ageing action heroes. There’s a very lame fight scene where Craig Fairbrass takes on about ten of Fiji‘s finest policemen. Also there’s an equally stupid skirmish in a kitchen where he batters two men with a flip flop!? Chase scenes occur at 10 miles per hour as it’s too hot and the actors are too old to run. Everything is edited badly, so everything looks staged and in slow motion. It just looked like everyone was having a half-assed hoot. Only the concert footage worked and that’s because that’s where Rossi and Parfitt are most at home. I’m not a Quo fan but some of the songs which accompany one of about six montage sequences are actually catchy and OK. But I’m not converted, sorry! Anyway, like I strongly suspect, everybody involved was in this for a holiday in Fiji. That was as far as everybody got when reading the script…. The setting. Neither Rossi or Parfitt can act to save their lives, not even able to play themselves. I wonder if they peer around corners like cartoon characters in real life? That would be funny. It seems to be something they do before entering any room in the film. Acting the final frontier. I guess at their stage in their music careers they must have wanted to try something different. Film history is listed with major music stars attempting to make the cross over to film world. The DVD / Video shelves are a waste land of films like Vanilla Ice’s Cool As Ice, All Saints’ Honest, Spice World etc but at least those guys had a budget. Bula Quo! is an amateurish caper best forgotten by all concerned except hardcore Status Quo fans who may still be embarrassed by their hero’s efforts at comedy.
3 out of 10 – Inoffensive but cheap caper movie starring famous people that should never have been mistaken for actors. In short it’s awful and will only be memorable as a misadventure and an excuse to see what Fiji is like, if you’ve never been there. It’s obviously duff but it’s a harmless bit of fun. Hard to dislike but it’s pure ‘special bus’.
Read Joe Pesci II’s review below.
WHAT HAVE I SEEN THAT ACTOR IN BEFORE?
- Craig Fairbrass: Breakdown (2015), Gunned Down, The Hooligan Factory, Vikingdom, Saving Santa (voice), Get Lucky, Deranged, St. George’s Day, Devil’s Playground, Freight, Dead Cert, The Shouting Men, Just For The Record, The Bank Job, Rise Of The Foot Soldier, White Noise 2, Dark Days, Proteus, Beyond Bedlam, Cliffhanger, Eastenders (TV), Tucker’s Luck (TV)
- Laura Aikman: The Hatching, Amar Akbar & Tony, Waterloo Rd (TV), Not Going Out (TV), Keith Lemon, Lemon La Vida Loca (TV), Freight, Casualty (TV)
- Matt Kennard: Ibiza Undead, Pleasure Island, Killing Time, Freight, Doctors (TV)
- Jean Heard: Amar Akbar & Tony, Freight
- Jon Lovitz: The Simpsons (TV) (voice), Grown Ups 2, Hotel Transylvania (voice), Casino Jack, I Could Never Be Your Woman, Southland Tales, The Benchwarmers, The Producers (2005), The Stepford Wives (2004), Rat Race, Cats & Dogs (voice), 3000 Miles To Graceland, Little Nicky, Small Time Crooks, Happiness, The Wedding Singer, High School High, Mathilda, Trapped In Paradise, North, City Slickers 2, Coneheads, National Lampoon’s Loaded Weapon 1, A League of Their Own, An American Tail 2 (voice), Mr. Destiny, My Stepmother Is An Alien, Big, The Three Amigos, Jumpin’ Jack Flash