HERETIC

1 out of 10

Release Date: 5th November 2012 (DVD Premiere)

Director: Peter Handford

Cast: Andrew Squires, James Zakeri, Holly Fletcher, Jodie McEnery, Will Fox, Jen Nelson, Michael J Tait

Writer: Peter Handford

Trailer: HERETIC

UnknownHeretic could be one of the dullest supernatural horror films I’ve ever had the displeasure to sit through. In a genre where simply anything could happen, nothing happens, again and again.  A Yorkshire-based Catholic Priest, James (ANDREW SQUIRES) returns to his old village six months after a local girl committed suicide because he failed to help her when she came to him for advice.  He inexplicably finds himself locked up in the busiest haunted house in the history of filmmaking, haunted by his past and the ghosts of the girl and her step-father. Or is this really what’s happening at all? Lord deliver us from shitty British movies!

Well the Heretic of the title spends a lot of the time wrestling weakly with his fate and faith with a procession of friends and acquaintances that seem to be passing by the derelict house he finds himself locked up in overnight including: his fellow priest (JAMES ZAKERI); town tart (HOLLY FLETCHER); pregnant yet devout local girl Mel (JODIE MCENERY) and a Police Detective (WILL FOX). Sadly nobody can act at all. Apparitions appear and  kill the visitors at a tedious pace. Flashbacks seem to contradict proceedings in the house making us look at previous scenes from different angles. Waking dreams set to over complicate the whole film too. The dizzying narrative just infuriates rather than sets up any level of intrigue. It may have been vaguely intriguing if it wasn’t so amateurish. Bad acting, an overwrought and inappropriate score and really bad lighting ruin everything. There’s no tension generated at all and it’s never frightening, or even more importantly interesting.

Heretic fails on every single level and there’s just nothing to recommend beyond a vague impression that there was a reasonable story in here somewhere wrestling to get out. But all the cod-theology, cliches and lack of drive make for a hard watch. Don’t waste your time watching this over long, over cooked, horror bore. The DVD cover is good though.

1 out of 10 – Leaden.  Heredick, more like. It’s wetter than a week in Yorkshire.

WHAT HAVE I SEEN THAT ACTOR IN BEFORE?

Nothing.

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