2.5 out of 10
Release Date: 7th April 2014 (DVD Premiere)
Director: Manish Patel
Cast: Dave Courtney, Jamie Bannerman, Lucy Drive, Jerry Anderson, Richard Angol, Sukhraj Singh and Manish Patel
Writer: Manish Patel
Trailer: FULL ENGLISH BREAKFAST
The only reason I watch Dave Courtney (KRISH AND LEE) movies is because he’s a natural performer. Fair enough, he only seems to want to play one type of role, a hard-nut gangster at the top of the food chain, but he’s also very often the only person with any acting talent for miles around in his movies. Full English Breakfast is a tiny bit better than the majority of his other films but it’s still a long way from anything I’d call good. Along for the ride is Jamie Bannerman (CASH AND CURRY) in the lead role. His acting skills are reasonable but the dialogue on offer here is shocking. Really shocking. Poor Lucy Drive (VENDETTA), who has been kicking around these independents for a little while now is also exposed by the lack of quality in just about everything on show here. Director, writer and co-star Manish Patel (TRIADS YARDIES AND ONION BHAJEES) has over stretched himself as he’s just about competent enough to assemble something that resembles a movie on this occasion but he’s one shitty actor. And another thing, where did he get the idea that Full English Breakfast was the British equivalent of Goodfellas as the DVD box exclaims? It’s more like a vaguely scary episode of Howard’s Way without the yachts. Patel is an even worse writer than he is an actor too, even going so far as to throw in some dopey twists towards the end of the film that nobody wanted. Its’s only Dave Courtney (as always) that kept me watching to the end. Mercifully Full English Breakfast is not 159 minutes long but it’s still very long for a britpic, but it’s in fact 1hr 59mins. Perhaps on of Patel’s oppos truly thinks that there’s 100 minutes in an hour! It wouldn’t surprise me.
Jamie (JAMIE BANNERMAN – CASH AND CURRY) is an ex-soldier with PTSD who has been living rough near gangster Dave Bishop’s house (DAVE COURTNEY). One day he finds Dave’s wallet and returns it to him. It’s a weird coincidence and doesn’t add up when you think about all that follows but hey! Any way, Jamie gets employed as Dave’s driver and drug delivery boy. Jamie falls in love with Dave’s neglected wife Susan (LUCY DRIVE). Meanwhile, some gangsters from Afghanistan come looking for Dave’s previous driver Habib (SUKRHAJ SINGH) who went missing on the day Jamie showed up. And so on. It’s not very complicated and most of what follows rolls along in no hurry to get to it’s predictable ending with added silly twists.
Full English Breakfast has a number of points going in it’s favour. The static camerawork is a breath of fresh air compared to the recent batch of films that employed cinematographers with St. Vitus’ Dance. The previously mentioned Dave Courtney plays to his strengths and lots of full english breakfasts playing themselves (looking very tasty) brighten up the whole show. Actually, best supporting acting honours could well go to the cooked breakfasts. A low-budget film has never made me feel more hungry. However, we’ve been here before and we’ll return again and again as long as there is a market for these cheap crappos. Even having an Asian twist doesn’t add anything to it. It’s not as good as the comparably murky Triads Yardies and Onion Bhajees (in which Patel and Courtney co-starred). It has all the thrill and peril of an infomercial. Dave Courtney can’t be called on to carry these type of movies on his back any longer. He’s another one who needs a leg up. He’s certainly better than peers like Gary Stretch or Vinnie Jones who have probably pulled the ladder up behind them.
2.5 out of 10 – Below average crime plod saved slightly by another natural performance by the mighty Dave Courtney. It’s got the grace of a lead bollock and also the brains. Manish Patel would be advised to pick one behind the scenes role and get spend some time getting good because on this evidence he’s crap at writing, directing and acting. Low-level megalomania has never been so apparent.
Review by Matt ‘Second Breakfast’ Usher below!
WHAT HAVE I SEEN THAT ACTOR IN BEFORE?
- Dave Courtney: Krish and Lee, Mob Handed, Gatwick Gangsters, Looters Tooters and Sawn-Off Shooters, The Estate, Six Bend Trap, Killer Bitch, Triads Yardies and Onion Bhajees, The Baby Juice Express, Hell To Pay
- Jamie Bannerman: Cash and Curry
- Lucy Drive: Mob Handed, He Who Dares, Vendetta, Dead End (2013), Outside Bet
- Jerry Anderson: Fear No Evil, Bonded By Blood 2, Cryptic, A Hitman In London
- Richard Angol: Cash and Curry
- Manish Patel: Cash and Curry, Triads Yardies and Onion Bhajees