1.5 out of 10
Director: Raoul Girard
Cast: Danny Dyer, Zoe Grisdale, Keith Allen, Jason Durr and Craig Conway
Writer: Raoul Girard
Trailer: BLOOD SHOT
TO BE PROOFREAD: There’s dire films, then there’s Danny Dyer dire films. This was probably made before his transfer to Eastenders but Bloodshot is a return to the fucking terrible shit he’s contributed to British film history – see Run For Your Wife, Deviation, Freerunner, The Age Of Heroes, 7Lives, Basement, Pimp, Malice In Wonderland, Just For The Record, Dead Man Running, Dead Cert, The Devil’s Playground, Jack Said or rather don’t see. Bloodshot is a wildly uneven, badly scripted, badly acted psychological thriller with zero nouse.
One night Danny Dyer‘s Phillip is jogging through the park when he finds a French speaking down and out woman Jane (ZOE GRISEDALE) who’s completely bonkers. On glimpsing her blonde hair, Phillip is in love and invites the crazed psycho to come and live with him (like you would). Trouble is his work deeply troubles Jane. He’s a SFX ‘genius’ that builds body doubles for destruction in horror movies. The girl’s increasingly weird behaviour and instantaneous mood swings send him to his psychiatrist friend (KEITH ALLEN – SHALLOW GRAVE) who’s only advice is to make sure that Jane is not a trans-sexual (???) And so it goes on and on. Knives get pulled out, Philip goes as mad as his new girlfriend and what does it all mean? I think this film baffled everybody making it especially the editor who seems to have gone home before the end – hence Blood Shot‘s very odd non-ending.
Even amazing actors couldn’t have turned this into a good film. Newcomer Zoe Grisedale is given zero help by a clueless and clumsy Danny Dyer. The film is unintentionally funny especially the part where Danny Dyer convinces Jane that he can speak French by saying ‘petit pois, petit pois’, yes this is from a script excerpt from a deadly serious scene. The tone is all over the place veering from high comedy and rom-com frolics to death by blade the next second. The setting has to be the most boring to have featured in a horror thriller ever – it’s a 1950 detached rental in Hammersmith. The unconvincing script and story will vex and confuse all who try to watch this and it’s not even worth deciphering.
There are worse Danny Dyer movies out there (not many mind) but this is a return to the bottom of the shit-can. He had a good 2014 with Eastenders, Vendetta, and a beautiful cameo in The Hooligan Factory. Unfortunately Bloodshot is a giant set-back. It could have been interesting with a more conherent plot, better actors and a sensible script. It’s hard to think of another film that’s quite like it so it has originality going for it and I did love the SFX horror sequence near the end (no spoiler!) which was really impressive (hence the 1.5 points).
1.5 out of 10 – I’m not sure who this was made for? It’s too different from other Danny Dyer films and it certainly doesn’t qualify as good horror (minus exemplary gore FX). Business as usual then, Mr Dyer. Sad news.
Second review by Matt Usher aka Joe Pesci II below…. Oh Oh!
WHAT HAVE I SEEN THAT ACTOR IN BEFORE?
- Danny Dyer: The Rapture, Eastenders (TV), Assassin (2015), The Hooligan Factory, Vendetta, Run For Your Wife, Lemon La Vida Loca (TV), Plebs (TV), Deviation, Freerunner, The Age Of Heroes, 7Lives, Basement, Pimp, Malice In Wonderland, Just For The Record, Dead Man Running, Dead Cert, The Devil’s Playground, Jack Said, City Rats, Doghouse, Adulthood, Straightheads, Outlaw (2007), Severance, The Other Half, Borstal Boy, The Business, The Football Factory, Wasp (short), Mean Machine, High Heels and Low Lifes, Goodbye Charlie Bright, Greenfingers, The Trench, Human Traffic
- Keith Allen: Hec McAdam, The Last Showing, Vinyl, The Magnificent Eleven, The Good Night, De-Lovely, 24 Hour Party People, The Others, Rancid Aluminium, Preaching To The Perverted, Twin Town, Trainspotting, Loch Ness, Blue Juice, Shallow Grave, Second Best, Captives, Beyond Bedlam, The Young Americans. The Comic Strip (TV), Carry On Columbus, Rebecca’s Daughters, Kafka, Making Out (TV), Chicago Joe & The Showgirl, Scandal, The Supergrass
- Jason Durr: Down Dog, Heartbeat (TV), Killer Tongue, Young Soul Rebels
- Craig Conway: The 4th Reich, Scintilla, Detective Harrigan, Airborne, 7Lives, Four, Devil’s Playground, The Tournament, How To Stop Being a Loser, Doomsday