JIMMY’S HALL

REVIEW COMING SOON

UK/Ireland co-production

Release Date: 30th May 2014

Director: Ken Loach: (The Angel’s Share / Route Irish / Looking for Eric / Riff Raff / Raining Stones / My Name Is Joe / Carla’s Song / Land and Freedom / The Wind That Shakes The Barley / Kes / Ae Fond Kiss / Ladybird Ladybird)

Cast: Barry Ward, Jim Norton, Simone Kirby, Francis Magee, Aileen Henry, Aisling Franciosi with Brian F. O’Byrne and Andrew Scott

Writer: Paul Laverty

Trailer: JIMMY’S HALL

WHAT HAVE I SEEN THAT ACTOR IN BEFORE?

  • Barry Ward: Shooting For Socrates, Blood Cells, Bypass, The Claim (2000)
  • Jim Norton: Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, Water For Elephants, The Boy In Striped Pyjamas, Driving Lessons, The Oyster Farmer, Harry Potter & The Chamber of Secrets, Mad About Mambo, American History X, Into The West, Hidden Agenda, Adolf Hitler – My Part In His Downfall, Straw Dogs
  • Simone Kirby: Alice In Wonderland 2, Peaky Blinders (TV)
  • Francis Magee: Blood Cells, Good People, Cemetery Junction, London River, The Crew, Layer Cake, The Sex Lives Of The Potato Men
  • Aisling Franciosi: The Fall (TV)
  • Brian F. O’Byrne: Queen & Country, Prime Suspect (TV), Mildred Pierce (TV), Season of the Witch, The International, Brooklyn’s Finest, Before The Devil Knows You’re Dead, No Reservations, Bug, The New World, Million Dollar Baby, Intermission, Disco Pigs, An Everlasting Piece
  • Andrew Scott: Alice In Wonderland 2, Swallows and Amazons, Victor Frankenstein (2015), James Bond – Spectre, Sherlock (TV),  Pride (2014), Locke (voice), The Stag, Dates (TV)

MACBETH (2015)

8 out of 10

UK/France/USA co-production

REVIEW COMING SOON

Release Date: 2nd October 2015

Director: Justin Kurzel (Assassin’s Creed / The Turning / Snowtown)

Cast: Michael Fassbender, Marion Cotillard, Sean Harris, Jack Treynor, David Hayman, Elizabeth Debicki, Lynn Kennedy, Seylan Baxter, James Harkness, Scot Greenan with Paddy Considine and David Thewlis

Writer: William Shakespeare / Todd Louiso, Michael Lesslie, Jacob Koskoff

Trailer:MACBETH

WHAT HAVE I SEEN THAT ACTOR IN BEFORE?

  • Michael Fassbender: Assassin’s Creed, X Men 5, Trespass Against Us, Steve Jobs, Slow West, Frank, X Men 4, 12 Years a Slave, The Counsellor, Prometheus, Haywire, Shame, A Dangerous Method, Jane Eyre (2011), X Men- First Class, Jonah Hex, Centurion, Inglourious Basterds, Fish Tank, Eden Lake, Hunger, 300, Band Of Brothers (TV)
  • Marion Cotillard: Assassin’s Creed, Deux Jours – Une Nuit, Anchorman 2, The Dark Knight Rises, Rust and Bone, Contagion, Midnight In Paris, Little White Lies, Inception, Nine (2009), Public Enemies, La Vie en Rose, A Good Year, A Very Long Engagement, Innocence (2004), Big Fish, Taxi 3, Taxi 2, Taxi
  • Sean Harris: Trespass Against Us, Mission Impossible 5, The Goob, ’71, Serena, Deliver Us From Evil, The Borgias (TV), Prometheus, Brighton Rock (2011),  A Lonely Place To Die, Isolation, Creep, Harry Brown, 24 Hour Party People, Outlaw, Brothers Of The Head, Trauma
  • Jack Reynor: Jungle Book – Origins (voice), Sing Street, Glassland, A Royal Night Out, Transformers 4, Delivery Man, What Richard Did
  • David Hayman: Dartmoor Killing, Queen & Country, Castles In The Sky, Jack Ryan – Shadow Recruit, Sawney – Flesh of Man, ScrewedBurke and Hare, Flood, The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas, Rag Tale, Tailor Of Panama, Vertical Limit, The Match, My Name Is Joe, Smilla’s Feeling For Snow, Regeneration, The Jackal, The Near Room (dir),  Twin Town,  Rob Roy, The Hawk (dir), Venus Peter, Silent Scream (dir), Hope and Glory, Sid & Nancy
  • Elizabeth Debicki: Everest, The Man From UNCLE, The Night Manager (TV), The Great Gatsby (2013), A Few Best Men
  • Paddy Considine: Miss You Already, Child 44, Pride (2014), HonourThe Double (2014), The World’s End, Tyrannosaur (dir), Now Is Good, BlitzSubmarine, Le Donk and Scorasayzee, The Bourne Ultimatum, Hot Fuzz, Stoned, Cinderella Man, My Summer Of Love, Dead Man’s Shoes, In America, 24 Hour Party People, The Martins, Born Romatic, Last Resort, A Room For Romeo Brass
  • David Thewlis: Regression, Legend (2015), Queen & Country, The Theory of Everything, Stonehearst Asylum, Zero Theorem, Red 2, War Horse, The Lady (2012), Anonymous, Mr Nice, London Boulevard, Harry Potter 3, 6, 7 & 8, The Boy In Striped Pyjamas, The Omen (2006), Basic Instinct 2,  The New World, Kingdom Of Heaven,  Gangster No.1, Whatever Happened To Harold Smith?, Besieged, The Big Lebowski, Divorcing Jack, Seven Days In Tibet, The Island Of Dr Moreau, Total Eclipse, James and The Giant Peach (voice), Restoration, Black Beauty (1994), Naked, The Trial (1993), Afraid Of The Dark, Life Is Sweet, Resurrected, Valentine Park (TV), Vroom

CRYING WITH LAUGHTER

4.5 out of 10

REVIEW COMING SOON

Release Date: 16th April 2010 (DVD Premiere)

Director: Justin Molotnikov (Dr Who (TV) / Atlantis (TV) / Merlin (TV) / Shameless (TV))

Cast: Stephen McCole, Malcolm Shields, Andrew Neil, Micaiah Dring, Laura Keenan, Paul McCole, Grant O’Rourke, Niall Greig Fulton with Garry Sweeney and Jo Hartley

Writer: Justin Molotnikov

Trailer: CRYING WITH LAUGHTER

WHAT HAVE I SEEN THAT ACTOR IN BEFORE?

PLEASURE ISLAND

6 out of 10

REVIEW COMING SOON

Release Date: 14th August 2015

Director:  Mike Doxford

Cast: Ian Sharp, Gina Bramhill, Rick Warden, Nicholas Day, Samuel Anderson, Jack Rigby, Neil McCaul, Cordelia Bugeja with Conner Chapman and Michael J Jackson

Writer: Mike Doxford & Simon Richardson

Trailer: PLEASURE ISLAND

WHAT HAVE I SEEN THAT ACTOR IN BEFORE?

  • Ian Sharp: KickOff
  • Rick Warden: Genesis, Indian Summers (TV), Happy Valley (TV), Doomsday, Imagine – Me & You, Exorcist – Dominion, Band of Brothers (TV)
  • Nicholas Day: A Dark Reflection, Amazing Grace, New Tricks (TV), The Lakes (TV), Minder (TV), Up The Elephant and Round The Castle (TV)
  • Samuel Anderson: Genesis, Dr Who (TV), Emmerdale (TV)
  • Neil McCaul: Doctors (TV), Where The Heart Is (TV), Billy The Kid and The Green Baize Vampire
  • Cordelia Bugeja: The Crew, Mindflesh
  • Conner Chapman: The Selfish Giant
  • Michael J Jackson: Coronation Street (TV), Emmerdale (TV), Doctors (TV), There’s Only One Jimmy Grimble, Brookside (TV), Wish Me Luck (TV), The Fourth Protocol, Dr Who (TV), Sweeney 2

THE GOOB

8 out of 10

REVIEW COMING SOON

Release Date: 29th May 2015

Director: Guy Myhill

Cast: Liam Walpole, Sean Harris, Sienna Guillory, Oliver Kennedy, Hannah Spearitt, Marama Corlett, Rosa French, Joe Copsey and Paul Popplewell

Writer: Guy Myhill

Trailer: THE GOOB

WHAT HAVE I SEEN THAT ACTOR IN BEFORE?

  • Sean Harris: Trespass Against Us, Macbeth (2015), Mission Impossible 5, ’71, Serena, Deliver Us From Evil, The Borgias (TV), Prometheus, Brighton Rock (2011),  A Lonely Place To Die, Isolation, Creep, Harry Brown, 24 Hour Party People, Outlaw, Brothers Of The Head, Trauma
  • Sienna Guillory: High -Rise, Fortitude (TV), Luther (TV), Resident Evil 5, Resident Evil 4, Inkheart, Eragon, Resident Evil 3, Love Actually, The Principles of Lust, The Time Machine (2002), Late Night Shopping, Sorted
  • Hannah Spearitt: Primeval (TV), Seed of Chucky, Agent Cody Banks 2, S Club Seeing Double, Viva S Club (TV), Hollywood 7 (TV), S Club 7 In Miami (TV), S Club In LA (TV), S Club Back To The ’50s (TV)
  • Paul Popplewell: ID 2, ’71, Spike IslandTyrannosaur, The Waiting Room, Morvern Callar, 24 Hour Party People

DEADLY VIRTUES

1.5 out of 10

Release Date: 28th September 2015 (DVD Premiere)
Director: Ate De Jong (All Men Are Mortal / Highway To Hell (1992) / Drop Dead Fred)

Cast: Edward Akrout, Megan Maczko, Matt Barber, Helen Bradbury and Sadie Frost

Writer: Mark Rogers

Trailer: DEADLY VIRTUES

p10935062_d_v8_aa

If you’d have gone to see this at the cinema, you’d remember it as one of the most unsexy sex thrillers ever made and you’ll be embarrassed at having suggesting to go and see it. Can you imagine this being your choice for the evening? A first date, cinema experience. A mistake for the ages. Luckily, cinema distributors everywhere passed on this still born turd.  The director Ate De Jong gave us Drop Dead Fred (Rik Mayall’s sole crack at Hollywood) and the long high-pitched dog fart fantast All Men Are Mortal. Many thought he wouldn’t be back but here he is and he’s not been honing his craft.

A weirdo (EDWARD AKROUT – SWORD OF VENGEANCE) breaks into a warring couples house, whilst the husband seems to be subjecting the wife to an unwanted bout of sex.  He proceeds to torture the pair but over the course of the weekend it turns out that this is all a massive bout of unwanted marital therapy dispensed by the neighbourhood guardian angel. Plus there’s a duff cameo from Sadie Frost (DRACULA 1992) at the end.

It’s filmed with all the panache of a Cilit Bang advert. Yes you see so much of the bathroom you really feel urge to do some DIY. It’s that dull. The acting is OK, but the nature of the story and the style is so poe-faced you just want to shut it down at any moment. Perves will be disappointed, thriller junkies will be bored and the amateur critic also bemused and again bored brainless. Yes, paid critics would never scoop this deep for something to watch. It’s left to us bloggers to report another corpse has been found in the lower levels.

1.5 out of 10 – Sexual impotent non-thriller with no appeal to anybody other than people who have allotments – the DVDs could be good bird scarers.Long live Ate de Pong. Drop Dead was sexier… seriously.

Review by Matt ‘Deadly Tissues’ Usher below

WHAT HAVE I SEEN THAT ACTOR IN BEFORE?

  • Edward Akrout: Bitter Harvest, Sword of Vengeance
  • Megan Maczko: Me and Orson Welles
  • Matt Barber: Gloves Off, Downton Abbey (TV)
  • Sadie Frost: Molly Moon, The Heavy, Shoot On Sight, Beyond The Rave (TV), An Ideal Husband, Love Honour and Obey, Rancid Aluminium Captain Jack, Final Cut, Bent, Crimetime, Shopping, Splitting Heirs, Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992), The Krays, Diamond Skulls, Press Gang (TV), Empire State

VAMPIRES (2014) aka BLOODLESS

2 out of 10

Release Date: 31st January 2014 (DVD Premiere)

Director: Richard Johnstone

Cast: Victoria Hopkins, Anna Scott, Lucas Hansen, Melissa Advani, Angela Zahra, Louis Murrall, Edd Muruako, Kristian James, Patrick Wilde, Judith Alexander, Holly Newton, Jody Baldwin, Stewart Blackburn and Bill Fellows

Writer: Richard Johnstone

Trailer: No Trailer Available

vampires-101-dvd

Oh dear. Vampires meet Big Brother. Several couples go on a medical trail at a remote old castle. Little do they know that their hosts are really blood harvesting fang-faced killers.

This film boasts not one but two heroines. One is tough and smelly looking (VICTORIA HOPKINS – ZOMBIE WOMEN OF SATAN) and one (ANNA SCOTT) is a dumb middle-class blonde who doesn’t understand anything that’s going on around her. They are the only two characters that make any impression out of the procession of boring wallys that fill out the large cast. There’s a child vampire (HOLLY NEWTON) who impresses in a quite way, in that everybody else looks like they’re too cold to deliver they’re lines comfortably.

The plot shambles from one poorly set-up, nonsensical scenario to the next. The characters are set against one-another by their carers / vampires in disguise to test the stress related drugs in the trial. Alarms are tripped, doors are banged upon, and a dog is set loose making some of the number disappear.

Most of the script is terrible. It’s so bad that even a professional actor would struggle to find a way to deliver the lines in anyway sensibly. As the vampires finally show up and the cast dwindles, the pace seems to pick up, but it’s all an illusion as the film was stood still, this material is slow. The make up and gore is pretty good but none of the SFX made up for a badly editing, underlit scenes and terrible acting.  Crucially, it’s unscary and vampire followers will do well to give this one a swerve. It’s shows no sign of improvement as it goes through some ‘obvious’ motions. It even squanders it’s wonderful castle location. Fangs for nothing guys.

2 out of 10 – Deadly boring and amateur. The cast deserved to be bitten in the collective neck, forever… vor hor horrrrr.

Another review by Bat Usher below..

WHAT HAVE I SEEN THAT ACTOR IN BEFORE?