2 out of 10
Release Date: 31st January 2014 (DVD Premiere)
Director: Richard Johnstone
Cast: Victoria Hopkins, Anna Scott, Lucas Hansen, Melissa Advani, Angela Zahra, Louis Murrall, Edd Muruako, Kristian James, Patrick Wilde, Judith Alexander, Holly Newton, Jody Baldwin, Stewart Blackburn and Bill Fellows
Writer: Richard Johnstone
Trailer: No Trailer Available
Oh dear. Vampires meet Big Brother. Several couples go on a medical trail at a remote old castle. Little do they know that their hosts are really blood harvesting fang-faced killers.
This film boasts not one but two heroines. One is tough and smelly looking (VICTORIA HOPKINS – ZOMBIE WOMEN OF SATAN) and one (ANNA SCOTT) is a dumb middle-class blonde who doesn’t understand anything that’s going on around her. They are the only two characters that make any impression out of the procession of boring wallys that fill out the large cast. There’s a child vampire (HOLLY NEWTON) who impresses in a quite way, in that everybody else looks like they’re too cold to deliver they’re lines comfortably.
The plot shambles from one poorly set-up, nonsensical scenario to the next. The characters are set against one-another by their carers / vampires in disguise to test the stress related drugs in the trial. Alarms are tripped, doors are banged upon, and a dog is set loose making some of the number disappear.
Most of the script is terrible. It’s so bad that even a professional actor would struggle to find a way to deliver the lines in anyway sensibly. As the vampires finally show up and the cast dwindles, the pace seems to pick up, but it’s all an illusion as the film was stood still, this material is slow. The make up and gore is pretty good but none of the SFX made up for a badly editing, underlit scenes and terrible acting. Crucially, it’s unscary and vampire followers will do well to give this one a swerve. It’s shows no sign of improvement as it goes through some ‘obvious’ motions. It even squanders it’s wonderful castle location. Fangs for nothing guys.
2 out of 10 – Deadly boring and amateur. The cast deserved to be bitten in the collective neck, forever… vor hor horrrrr.
Another review by Bat Usher below..
WHAT HAVE I SEEN THAT ACTOR IN BEFORE?
- Victoria Hopkins: Zombie Women of Satan 2, Le Fear II, Zombie Women of Satan
- Anna Scott: Tortoise In Love
- Lucas Hansen: Soldiers of the Damned, Human Centipede 2
- Bill Fellows: Almost Married, Detective Harrigan, Zombie Women of Satan