2 out of 10
Release date: 26th June 2017 (DVD premiere)
Director: Richard Colton
Cast: Calum Best, Amar Adatia, Jess Impiazzi, Darren Day, Gary Webster, Jessica-Jane Stafford, Ricky Rayment, Benjamin Griffin, Lucy Pinder, Marlia Arkian, Stefan Boehm, Lee Stafford, Tony Fadil, Andrew Harrison aka Tiny Iron, Luke White, Brandy Brewers with Shizzio and Alex ‘Reidinator’ Reid
Writer: Amar Adatia
Trailer: DANGEROUS GAME
Wow, where to start? This is Calum Best’s (REQUIEM) (son of the late footballing god George Best) first lead film role to my knowledge. He’s forged quite a career as a reality TV star in braodcast offal like Famously Single and Celebrity Big Brother, so it was only a matter of time before the low-budget film brigade came look for him to star. It seems to be a growing trend that the stars of shows like The Only Way Is Essex etc. are now beginning to get recruited by the acting world. In rare cases those selected can act. Unfortunately, Calum Best may have been blessed with text book good looks, he looks like a tatooed Will Young, but he really, really cannot act. He’s also left stranded by a really shitty script by his co-star/produced Amar Adatia (GANGSTERS GAMBLERS & GEEZERS). In an effort to forge a double-act that could extend into future comedians, wanna-be comedian Adatia also grapples with the challenges of film performance. As demonstrated in his debut, Gangsters Gamblers & Geezers, its hard work and he makes heavy work of the simplest of scenes. He’s got no comic timing and frankly, he’s hard to watch.
The plot sees newly signed premier league footballer Rose (CALUM BEST) is on the rise. His best friend, Adam Chopra (AMAR ADATIA) is his best friend who owes lots of money for gambling debts. His latest debt has been bought by Russian mobsters, led by one time TV presenter, Darren Day (THIS MORNING) putting in the film’s best performance (not hard). Guess who has the money to get him out of the hole – only the mobsters want more than money, they want a ca$h cow to throw big games for them. It’s a dangerous game that you have to play to survive. The soppy duo, embark on a crime spree followed by cheeky chappy cop, Graham Crawford (GARY WEBSTER – MINDER) and Det. Saunders (RICKY RAYMENT – THE ONLY WAY IS ESSEX). Meanwhile, Rose begins dating a club girl, Ashlee (JESSICA IMPIAZZI – EX ON THE BEACH) to complicate things, as he has to hide his new hobby as a bank robber.
The film is only 90 minutes but it plods about with lead in its boots, as our cast of TV stalwarts and reality TV non-actors work their way through an over simplistic plot. There’s a hitman in the mix, that turns up too late to make a real difference but at least there’s an ending to clap. And its not one that’s been earned by the cast or story, you just clap because it means this tribute to bad cinema is over. It’s a slight improvement on Amar Adatia’s first production, as he’s not directed this one. Richard Colton, the director, shows some signs of technical ability, and there’s some competent sound work, cinematography and soundtracks. So this can only improve, as it is definitely on the road to looking like a proper TV programme. Alas, it’s plotted and acted like a bad spin-off from Hollyoaks or Brookside.
The young producer Amar Adatia is the newest in a line of new filmmakers that show some promise. He’s got to check his ego and stay behind the camera or spend some money on acting lessons rather than the hire of a Rolls Royce for his next film.
2 out of 10 – Unenjoyable caper movie ruined by terrible actors and a very stinky script and plot. Dim signs of improvement on offer but there’s so little to recommend here.
WHAT HAVE I SEEN THAT ACTOR IN BEFORE?
- Calum Best: Retribution, Famously Single (TV), Celebrity Big Brother (TV)
- Amar Adatia: Dead Ringer, Retribution, Gangsters Gamblers & Geezers
- Jess Impiazzi: The Tombs, Ex On The Beach (TV), The Only Way Is Essex (TV), Serial Kaller
- Darren Day: White Island, This Morning (TV – presenter), Hollyoaks (TV), I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here (TV – presenter), You Bet! (TV – presenter), Doctors (TV)
- Gary Webster: Eastenders (TV), Underground (2008), The Bill (TV), Family Affairs (TV), Minder (TV)
- Jessica-Jane Stafford: Cannibals and Carpet Fitters, Gangsters Gamblers & Geezers, Devil’s Tower
- Ricky Rayment: The Only Way Is Essex (TV)
- Benjamin Griffin: Terminal
- Lucy Pinder: Nightmare on 34th Street, Suburban Fairytale, Sharknado 5, Fanged Up, Age of Kill, Strippers vs. Werewolves
- Stefan Boehm: Dead Ringer
- Tony Fadil: Haunted 5, The Hit (2017), The Howling (2017), The Doll Master, Borstal, Off-Piste, Invasion Earth, I Am Hooligan
- Andrew Harrison aka Tiny Iron: Gangsters Gamblers & Geezers
- Brandy Brewers: Serial Kaller
- Shizzio: Gangsters Gamblers & Geezers
- Alex ‘Reidinator’ Reid: Retribution, Killer Bitch, Celebrity Big Brother (TV)