BURN BURN BURN

6 out of 10

REVIEW COMING SOON

Release date: 28th October 2016

Director: Chanya Button (Vita & Virginia)

Cast: Laura Carmichael, Chloe Pirrie, Jack Farthing, Joe Dempsie, Jane Asher, Nigel Planer, Sally Phillips, Melanie Walters, Hannah Arterton, Eleanor Matsuura and Matthew Kelly with Alice Lowe, Julian Rhind-Tutt and Alison Steadman

Writer: Chanya Button

Trailer: BURN BURN BURN

WHAT HAVE I SEEN THAT ACTOR IN BEFORE?

  • Laura Carmichael: A United Kingdom, Downton Abbey (TV)
  • Chloe Pirrie: War & Peace (TV), Youth, Blood Cells, Shell
  • Jack Farthing: Poldark (TV), The Riot Club, Cilla (TV)
  • Joe Dempsie: This Is England ’90 (TV), Monsters 2, Game of Thrones (TV), The Fades (TV), Blitz, This Is England ’86 (TV), The Damned United, Skins (TV)
  • Jane Asher: Kindred, I Give It a Year, Holby City (TV), Death At a Funeral (2007), Paris By Night, Henry VIII and His Six Wives, Deep End, Alfie (1966)
  • Nigel Planer: I Give It a Year, Episodes (TV), Flood, The Comic Strip Presents (TV), The Land Girls, The Wind In The Willows (1996), Clockwork Mice, Carry On Columbus, Filthy Rich and Catflap, The Supergrass, Brazil, The Young Ones (TV),  Yellowbeard
  • Sally Phillips: Smack The Pony (TV), The Rizen 2, The Rizen, Bridget Jones 3, Set The Thames On Fire, Pride & Prejudice & Zombies, The Decoy Bride, Miranda (TV), Green Wing (TV), Bridget Jones 2, Bridget Jones, Mean Machine, Birthday Girl, Born Romantic
  • Melanie Walters: The Watcher In The Woods, Gavin and Stacey (TV)
  • Hannah Arterton: We Are Tourists,  Hide & Seek (2016), Walking On Sunshine
  • Eleanor Matsuura: Cuffs (TV), DaVinci’s Demons (TV), Spooks – The Greater Good, Blood Moon
  • Matthew Kelly: Loose Women (TV – presenter), This Morning (TV – presenter), Benidorm (TV), Cold Blood (TV), Bleak House (TV), Stars In Their Eyes (TV – presenter), You Bet (TV, Punchlines (TV – presenter), Game for a Laugh (TV – presenter), Gabrielle and Doodleman
  • Alice Lowe: The Ghoul, Adult Life Skills, Prevenge (dir), Black Mountain Poets, Aaaaaaaah!ElectricityLocke (voice), The World’s End, Sightseers, This Is Jinsy (TV), Garth Marenghi’s Dark Place (TV)
  • Julian Rhind-Tutt: Chubby Funny, The Rizen, Bridget Jones 3, Aaaaaaaah!, Castles In The Sky, Banished (TV), A Touch of Cloth (TV), Lucy, Inside No.9 (TV), Rush (2013), Gambit (2012), Your Highness, Stardust, Green Wing (TV), To Kill a King, Miranda, Lara Croft -Tomb Raider, The Trench, Notting Hill
  • Alison Steadman: Dad’s Army, In The Blood, Gavin & Stacey (TV), Confetti, Fat Friends (TV), The Life and Death of Peter Sellers, Adrian Mole (TV), Chunky Monkey, Topsy Turvy, Pride & Prejudice (TV), Blame It On The Bellboy, Life Is Sweet, Wilt, Shirley Valentine, The Adventures of Baron Munchausen, Stormy Monday, Clockwise, A Private Function, P’Tang, Yang, Kipperbang, Nuts In May

BRIDGET JONES 3 – BRIDGET JONES’ BABY

3.5 out of 10

REVIEW COMING SOON

Release date: 16th September 2016

Director: Sharon Maguire (Bridget Jones’ Diary)

Cast: Renee Zellweger, Colin Firth, Patrick Dempsey, Jim Broadbent, Gemma Jones, Sally Phillips, Shirley Henderson, James Callis, Sarah Solemani, Kate O’Flynn, Enzo Cilenti, Celia Imrie, Jessica Hynes, Julian Rhind-Tutt, Ed Sheeran, Joanna Scanlan with Neil Pearson and Emma Thompson

Writer: Helen Fielding, Dan Mazer and Emma Thompson

Trailer: BRIDGET JONES’ BABY

WHAT HAVE I SEEN THAT ACTOR IN BEFORE?

  • Renee Zellweger: Case 39, Monsters vs Aliens (voice), New In Town, Apaloosa, Leatherheads, Bee Movie (voice), Miss Potter, Cinderella Man, Bridget Jones 2, Shark Tale (voice), Cold Mountain, Down With Love, Chicago, Bridgey Jones’ Diary, Me Myself & Irene, Nurse Betty, The Bachelor, Jerry Maguire, Empire Records, Texas Chainsaw Massacre 4, Love and a .45, 8 Seconds, Reality Bites
  • Colin Firth: Kingsman 2, Genius, Kingsman – The Secret Service, Before I Go To Sleep, Magic In The Moonlight, Arthur & Mike, The Devil’s Knot, The Railway Man, Gambit (2012), Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, The King’s Speech, St Trinians 2, A Single Man, Dorian Gray, Easy Virtue, Genova, Mamma Mia!, The Accidental Husband, St Trinians, And When Did You Last See Your Father, The Last Legion, Nanny McPhee, Where The Heart Lies, Bridget Jones 2, Trauma (2004), Love Actually, The Girl With The Pearl Earring, Hope Springs, The Importance Of Being Ernest (2002), Bridget Jones, Relative Values, Shakespeare In Love, A Thousand Acres, Fever Pitch, The English Patient, Pride & Prejudice (TV), Circle Of Friends, The Hour Of The Pig, Valmont, Apartment Zero, A Month In The Country, Another Country
  • Patrick Dempsey: Grey’s Anatomy (TV), Transformers 3, Made of Honour, Enchanted, Freedom Writers, Sweet Home Alabama, Scream 3, Outbreak, With Honours, Mobsters, Run, Coupe de Ville, Happy Together, Loverboy, Can’t Buy Me Love, Meatballs 3, Fast Times at Ridgemont High (TV)
  • Jim Broadbent: The Sense of an Ending, Ethel and Ernest (voice), The Legend of Tarzan, Eddie The Eagle, War & Peace (TV), Brooklyn, The Lady In a Van, Big Game, Get Santa, Paddington, Postman Pat (voice), The Harry Hill Movie, Closed Circuit, Le Week-EndFilth, Cloud Atlas, The Iron Lady, Another Year, Harry Potter- part 8, Harry Potter- part 6, Arthur Christmas (voice), The Damned United, Young Victoria, Inkheart, Indiana Jones 4, Hot Fuzz, Chronicles Of Narnia- The Lion The Witch and The Wardrobe, Bridget Jones 2, Vera Drake, Vanity Fair, Bright Young Things, Nicholas Nickleby (2002), Gangs Of New York, Iris, Moulin Rouge, Bridget Jones, Little Voice, Topsy Turvy, The Avengers, The Borrowers, Smilla’s Feeling For Snow, The Secret Agent, Rough Magic, Richard III (1995), Princess Caraboo, Bullets Over Broadway, Widow’s Peak, The Crying Game, Enchanted April, Life Is Sweet, Erik The Viking, Vroom, Brazil
  • Gemma Jones: Radiator, Last Tango In Halifax (TV), Marvellous, Merlin (TV), Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows 2, Hysteria, Forget Me Not, You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, Bridget Jones 2, Shanghai Knights, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Bridget Jones, Captain Jack, The Winslow Boy, The Theory of Flight, Wilde, Sense and Sensibility, Feast of July, On The Black Hill, Paperhouse, The Devils
  • Sally Phillips: Smack The Pony (TV), The Rizen 2, The Rizen, Burn Burn Burn, Set The Thames On Fire, Pride & Prejudice & Zombies, The Decoy Bride, Miranda (TV), Green Wing (TV), Bridget Jones 2, Bridget Jones, Mean Machine, Birthday Girl, Born Romantic
  • Shirley Henderson: On The Road – Wolf Alice, T2 – Trainspotting, Urban Hymn, Tale of Tales,  Set Fire To The Stars, In Secret, Filth, The Look Of Love, EverydayAnna Karenina (2012), Meek’s Cutoff, Life During Wartime, Wild Child, Miss Pettigrew Lives For a Day, Marie Antoinette, Harry Potter and The Goblet Of Fire, A Cock And Bull Story, Bridget Jones 2,  Yes, Intermission, Wilbur Wants To Kill Himself, Harry Potter and The Chamber Of Secrets, Once Upon a Time In The Midlands, 24 Hour Party People, Bridget Jones’ Diary, The Claim (2000), Wonderland (2000), Topsy Turvy, Trainspotting, Rob Roy
  • James Callis: Narcopolis, Believe, Austenland, Reuniting The Rubins, Battlestar Galactica 2 (TV), Bridget Jones 2, Bridget Jones, Soldier Soldier (TV)
  • Sarah Solemani: Hector, The Bad Education Movie, The Wrong Mans (TV), Psychobitches (TV), Bad Education (TV)
  • Kate O’Flynn: Happy Go Lucky
  • Enzo Cilenti: Free Fire, High-Rise, The Theory of Everything, Kick Ass 2, The Rum Diary, In The Loop, Deserter, Next (2007), Rome (TV), 24 Hour Party People, Late Night Shopping, Wonderland (2000)
  • Celia Imrie: Finding Your Feet, A Cure For Wellness, Absolutely Fabulous – The Movie, Second Best Marigold Hotel, What We Did On Our Holiday, Nativity 3, The Love Punch, Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, St Trinians 2, Nanny McPhee, St Trinians, Imagine Me & You, Wah-Wah, Bridget Jones  2, Wimbledon, Calendar Girls, Heartlands, Thunderpants, Bridget Jones, Lucky Break, Gormenghast (TV), Dinner Ladies (TV), Star Wars – The Phantom Menace, Hilary & Jackie, The Borrowers (1997), In The Bleak Midwinter, Frankenstein (1994)
  • Jessica Hynes-Stevenson: Swallows and Amazons (2016), Winter, W1A (TV), Pudsey The Dog, Chalet GirlNativity 2, Burke and Hare, Faintheart, Magicians, Son Of Rambow, Confetti, Bridget Jones 2, Pure, Spaced (TV), Born Romantic, Staying Alive (TV)
  • Julian Rhind-Tutt: Chubby Funny, The Rizen, Burn Burn Burn, Aaaaaaaah!, Castles In The Sky, Banished (TV), A Touch of Cloth (TV), Lucy, Inside No.9 (TV), Rush (2013), Gambit (2012), Your Highness, Stardust, Green Wing (TV), To Kill a King, Miranda, Lara Croft -Tomb Raider, The Trench, Notting Hill
  • Joanna Scanlan: Tulip Fever, The Bad Education Movie, , Testament of Youth, Get Santa, The Invisible Woman, The Thick of It (TV)
  • Neil Pearson: ID2- Shadwell Army, Waterloo Road (TV), Drop The Dead Donkey (TV), The Booze Cruise 3, The Booze Cruise 2, Bridget Jones 2, Fever Pitch, Between the Lines (TV), The Secret Rapture,  That’s Love (TV)
  • Emma Thomspon: The Children Act, Beauty & The Beast (2016), The Legend of Barney Thompson, A Walk In The Woods, Effie Gray, The Love Punch, Saving Mr Banks, Beautiful Creatures (2013), Brave (voice), Men In Black 3, Harry Potter – parts 3, 4 & 8, Nanny McPhee 2, The Boat That Rocked, An Education, Last Chance Harvey, Brideshead Revisted, I Am Legend, Stranger Than Fiction, Nanny McPhee, Love Actually, Maybe Baby, Primary Colours, The Winter Guest, Sense and Sensibility, Carrington, Junior, My Father The Hero (1994), In The Name of the Father, The Remains of the Day, Much Ado About Nothing (1993), Peter’s Friends, Howard’s End, Dead Again, Impromptu, Henry V, The Tall Guy, Thompson (TV), Fortunes of War (TV), Tutti Frutti (TV), The Young Ones (TV)

BORSTAL

0.5 out of 10

Release date: 3rd March 2017 (DVD premiere)

Director: Steven M Smith (Haunted 5 / Haunted 4 / Haunted 3 / Haunted 2 / The Doll Master /  Invasion Earth / I Am Hooligan / Essex Boys – Law of Survival / Hooligans At War / Haunted (2013))

Cast: Matthew Winters, Sonny Denham, Tiffany-Ellen Robinson, Jon-Paul Gates, Rorie Stockton, Luke Anthony jr, Tony Fadil, Kevin Horsham, Can Somer, Frankie Clarence, Billy James Machin with Darren James King and Patrick Kilpatrick

Writer: Kris Gray / Steven M Smith

Trailer: BORSTAL

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I didn’t think director Steven M Smith had it in him to make a worse movie than Hooligans at War, but here it is. This seems to be his first film without  actor/producer Chris Bell, but I’m not sure how incidental that is to this dry, boring and cliched plod of a film. Setting out its stall as an alternative to Scum, this ends up being a bad remake of the early Danny Dyer vehicle Borstal Boy. Somehow, the cast includes a real actor this time, the positively puzzled action film baddie of the 1990s Patrick Kilpatrick (TOXIC AVENGER) looks surprised to be there. He looks throughly confused throughout during his seated role as the governor of the borstal. It looks like he’s had his role split down the middle with Jon-Paul Gates (HAUNTED), handling the lion’s share of the villainy as the deputy governor, Len Forshaw. The lead is handled by an unbelievably smug and corny young actor-wannabe called Matthew Winters.

The plot is set in 1971, and tells the true-story of  young Kris Gray (WINTERS), who is sent to borstal by his well-to-do father. He tells the governor that he wants to be a singer like Paul McCartney and has low-rent fantasies of playing to stadium crowds. He makes corny friends straight away but still falls foul of a 1970s chav (CAN SOMER) who talks the same way a kid would these days, and looks like an oompa loompa. Watch as he meets his downfall when Kris pushes him on to a bed and his legs go up in the air Chuckle Brothers-style – you almost expect to hear a slide trombone on the soundtrack. Probably the worst fate for a baddie in the history of movies. There’s even a corny scouse mate, a corny Cockney mate and a corny Scottish mate. Oh yeah, there’s even a corny love interest (the deputy governor’s wife no-less), and a corny plot that shows Kris as the best ever inmate at the borstal that even the custodians end up loving him. The film is packed with Kris’ woeful songs, and a bunch of montages which are only good in the way that they save us having to listen to any more shit dialogue. It’s no surprise that this is load of old bollocks was produced by Kris Gray himself, who portrays himself as some kind of  Jesus Christ figure for young offenders. Occasionally his character will break the ‘third wall’ and address the viewer Orlando-style. It’s a cringe-worthy device and makes you wonder if the filmmakers have ever seen a good film. When an old hack like Patrick Kilpatrick is made to look like Kevin Spacey or Paul Giamatti by comparison to the rest of the pitiful cast, you know you’re in trouble. The rest of the non-actors deliver some of the most terrible dialogue I’ve heard in a long time. Smith ‘go-to’ Jon-Paul Gates is elevated from cameo detail to supporting lead and he just sucks. He’s sporting a bizarre fake Northern accent (the worst I’ve heard since Jason Maza‘s in Angel) and even more bizarrely, he delivers each line slowly and deliberately, somehow making the rest of the bad cast look better in the process – it has to be seen to be believed. Tony Fadil (OFF-PISTE), who also pops up in a lot of Smith’s films also gets to have a crack at an accent. His is a Belfast one and again, WTF? It’s weird how this lot are so delusioned as to try out these performance experiments out on a national level. Fadil and Gates contributions to this already abysmal opus of no-level ego unwatchable. Amidst, the shit chaos and boredom is a small cameo from the only person with any talent within a 100 miles of Smith, and that’s Darren James King (BLOOD FEUD) (about the only natural actor he’s ever worked with). If King had had the lead in this it may have been a tiny bit better. Alas and alack, his appearance is obscured by terrible lighting and sound in a non-scene about stealing from the kitchen.

Bad acting, out of tune songs, and a corny plot are just a part of the problem as Smith cuts corners behind the scenes too. The set is a 1980s holiday camp with modern windows and wall-fittings making the 70s setting a joke. The camera work and sound is all over the places and the man needs to work out how to use a white balance on his video camera, as frequently scenes are bleached out and look bloody awful.

0.5 out of 10 – Another rush job from Steven M Smith and his band of crap actors. This time he’s teamed up with someone called Kris Gray to tell their interminably boring and self-congratulatory tale of borstal life in the 1970s. Boringstal, more like.

WHAT HAVE I SEEN THAT ACTOR IN BEFORE?

BrOTHERHOOD

3 out of 10

REVIEW COMING SOON

Release Date: 29th August 2016

Director: Noel Clarke (The Anomaly / 4.3.2.1 / Adulthood)

Cast: Noel Clarke, Jason Maza, Shanika Warren-Markland, Arnold Oceng, Leeshon Alexander, Cornell John, Tonia Sotiropoulo, David Ajala, Adjoa Andoh, Fady Elsayed, Jack McMullen, Michael Omari, Rosa Coduri, Daniel Anthony, Lashana Lynch, Chris Ryman, Olivia Chenery, Ashley Thomas with Nick Nevern, Steven Cree and Red Madrell

Writer: Noel Clarke

Trailer: BROTHERHOOD

WHAT HAVE I SEEN THAT ACTOR IN BEFORE?

BONDED BY BLOOD 2

5 out of 10

Release Date: 9th January 2017 (DVD Premiere)

Director: Greg Hall (Dangerous Mind of a Hooligan)

Cast: George Russo, Sam Strike, Josh Myers, Johnny Palmiero, Casey Batchelor, Dani Dyer, Martin Delaney, Naomi Willow, Tony Denham, Perry Warner, Kirk Norcross, Tracy Kirby, Jerry Anderson, Scott Wickes, Johnny Sachon, Danny Howard with Mark Cooper Harris, Terry Stone and Chris Ellison

Writer: Simon Cluett

Trailer: BONDED BY BLOOD 2

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Here it is. The dramatisation of Bernard O’Mahoney’s documentary and book, Essex Boys – The Truth making it the first to lionise the next generation of crims. Hanging around on the shelf for over 12 months Bonded By Blood 2 is finally out. The first one told the same story as the last half of the original Rise of the Footsoldier about the now legendary but no less boring Landrover Murders, in which drug dealers and gangsters Tony Tucker, Craig Rolfe and Pat Tate all met with a grisly end. This one tells a slightly more interesting but equally seedy tale of Essex crims called Dean Boshell (SAM STRIKE – EASTENDERS), Damo Alvin (GEORGE RUSSO – TONY), Ricky Percival (JOSH MYERS – FALL OF THE KRAYS) and Malcolm Walsh (MARTIN DELANEY – NOW YOU SEE ME 2). Boshell falls under Alvin’s protection in jail but proves to be a low-level acolyte on joining the gang when they graduate to the outside world. Ricky Percival is the hot head leader, and Alvin is the more scheming of the two. So whilst Percival is out there building an empire with an old enemy, Alvin is plotting and using Boshell to do his dirty work. The cops find the weak link and use Boshell as an informant and so it plays out with double-cross after double-cross.

Bonded By Blood 2 is the next in a long line of films about Essex criminals and it’s a healthy sub-genre of the independent British film market. With Rise of the Footsoldier 3, Essex Heist, Barbie Dolls Gangsters of Upminster all awaiting a release, there seems to be no sign to this revenue stream running its course. Seems all you have to do is say ‘c*nt’ a lot, and get yourself some ex-players from London’s Burning or The Bill to show up and et voila you have your movie. Bonded By Blood 2 even has some reality TV stars in the mix too from the likes of The Only Way Is Essex and Celebrity Big Brother... Oh oh. Pretty much all the cast do a good job however, and nobody makes a fool out of themselves. The film’s main problem is that it fails to distinguish itself from its rivals like the Rise of the Footsoldier series and one or two other contenders. The ‘fictional’ framing device where Johnny Palmiero’s (EAT LOCAL) Bernard O’Mahoney meets Mr X (a ripe Mark Cooper Harris (PRETTY BOY)) who sells him the story of Boshell and Alvin, is troublesome. It’s almost comic compared to the rest of the film which has the look and feel of an episode of Brookside. Produced by the notorious Jonathan Sothcott, I can say that this is one of his best films to date, but not a patch on Vendetta. This is around the Top Dog mark, but streets ahead of We Still Kill The Old Way and way above his last turd, Age of Kill.  Director Greg Hall does another competent job after his debut Dangerous Mind of a Hooligan. Terry Stone (RISE OF THE FOOTSOLDIER 3) reprises his role in flashbacks at Tony Tucker but his inclusion amounts to little and impacts the central narrative in no way. It’s just another sales hook and way to tie this sequel into the first one.

5 out of 10 – So whilst it’s solid and largely helped by an impressive cast doing what they enjoy and do best – shout and say c*nt a lot – it does what you expect, nothing more nothing less.

WHAT HAVE I SEEN THAT ACTOR IN BEFORE?

THE BUNKER (2016) aka THE HOARDER

UK / USA co-production

3 out of 10

Release Date: 26th September 2016 (DVD Premiere)

Director: Matt Winn

Cast: Mischa Barton, Robert Knepper, John Sackville, Charlotte Salt, Valene Kane, Richard Sumitro, Ed Cooper Clarke, Jamie Bacon with Emily Atack and Andrew Buckley

Writer: James Handel & Matt Winn

Trailer: THE BUNKER

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This British produced horror cast with a predominantly British cast has been made for the American market. Some of it was shot in New York whereas the main bulk of it was shot in a 24Hour storage facility here in England. The cast all sport bad American accents, so it irritates from the start.

Mischa Barton (THE OC) suspects her perfect boyfriend of cheating when she finds a set of keys to a storage locker down town in the Meat Packing District of Manhattan. Off she trots with her BFF (EMILY ATACK  – IBIZA UNDEAD). But upon taking a wrong turn they discover that the facility is hiding some very dark secrets.

So there’s an unknown killer on the loose at closing time and a bent cop played by the sole American, Robert Knepper (PRISON BREAK), a divorcing couple, a secret resident and so on are all high on the menu. Once the intially intriging intro has been gotten out of the way, the film settles for following a very well established road. And we’re left with a reasonably well-made, solidly acted, badly accented, and boring case of ‘And then there were none.”

This is the second UK release of this film, it was first sent to market with another title called The Hoarder. This fits the film somewhat better because the title ‘The Bunker’ makes no sense as there is no actual bunker. There’s little on offer that you haven’t seen before, it also plays second fiddle to Noel Clarke and Johannes Roberts 2012 effort Storage 24 which is so similar to this one it’s uncanny. So if you really have to see a film about a bunch of twits being chased around a Big Yellow Storage centre, see Noel Clarke’s one. This is a non-event.

3 out of 10 – Unmemorable, largely unscary horror that’s too similar to other horrors to make any kind of impression of it’s own.

WHAT HAVE I SEEN THAT ACTOR IN BEFORE?

  • Mischa Barton: The OC (TV), St Trinian’s (2007), Octane, The Sixth Sense, Lawn Dogs
  • Robert Knepper: Twin Peaks (TV), Jack Reacher 2, Hard Target 2, The Hunger Games 4, The Hunger Games 3, Percy Jackson 2, Heroes (TV), Prison Break (TV), The Day The Earth Stood Still (2012), Transporter 3, Hitman, Good Night Good Luck, Hostage (2005), Species 3, Everyone Says I Love You, When The Bough Breaks, Gas Food Lodgings, Young Guns 2, Renegades, DOA
  • John Sackville: The Wedding Date
  • Charlotte Salt: The Musketeers (TV), Casualty (TV), The Tudors (TV)
  • Valene Kane: Star Wars: Rogue One, The Fall (TV)
  • Emily Atack: Iron Sky 2, Ibiza Undead, Dad’s Army,  Almost Married, Get Lucky, Outside Bet, The Inbetweeners (TV)
  • Andrew Buckley: The Sense of an Ending, Identicals, Jimi, Skeletons, Extras (TV)

BROWN WILLY

7.5 out of 10

Release date: 29th April 2016

Director: Brett Harvey (Weekend Retreat)

Cast: Tim Dyson and Simon Harvey

Writer: Brett Harvey

Trailer: BROWN WILLY

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Brown Willy is a funny comedy made on a micro-budget set on Bodmin Moor in Cornwall. The titular Brown Willy is the tallest point in the county. Two life-long buddies decide to have celebrate a stag-do in quiet style by walking to Brown Willy. Nothing goes to plan as the groom-to-be is given some really hard drugs resulting in the pair getting hopelessly lost on the moors.

Like a cross between Shaun of the Dead (minus zombies), Withnail & I (minus buildings) and Nuts In May (minus women), it’s an engaging and well assembled comedy that never overstays its welcome. The script and story are basic and the plot is largely simple too. What makes this special is that the comedy (although far from unique) is very funny, the cinematography really gives the film a sense of place, and the soundtrack is perfect. It’s far from a ‘point and shoot affair’ as well, as lot of the shots are considerately framed. There are quite a few scenes with nobody at all in, as the camera gazes across the moors, some others frame the actors in the distance, or on a horizon.The changes between scenes coincide with prompts in the music. The wind sound effects give the film an authentic and atmospheric feel.

My only qualm is that there’s no overlapping dialogue, making the delivery a seem a tiny but wooden at times when the script goes a bit slack.

It’s good to see a comedy that cares about the aesthetics of cinematography. It’s only 80 minutes long but you won’t feel cheated as Brown Willy as it’s a worth while watch. It also contains sad truths about outgrowing your friends, so it has a few valid points to make whilst gently tugging at the heart strings.

7.5 out of 10 – Fun film about male-bonding and getting old disgracefully. Good fun, shame the acting is tiny bit stilted at times. But here’s to their next film, it should be great!

WHAT HAVE I SEEN THAT ACTOR IN BEFORE?