2.5 out of 10
Release date: 15th May 2017 (DVD Premiere)
Director: Mark J Howard
Cast: Roy Basnett, Jessica Cunningham, Stephen Greenhalgh, James Thompson, Tim Paley, Holly Chadwick, Rachel Dargie, Jeff Downs and Simon Entwistle
Writer: Mark J Howard & Stephen Greenhalgh
Trailer: CLOWN KILL
This narky, no-budget stalker flick at least attempts to be memorable. In a lot of ways, it’s only the budget and the limits of some of its performers that holds this killer clown flick back from achieving a comic notoriety on the same level as some of the well-worn Hollywood horror franchises. However, Stitches it is not – it’s not even Jason X. The main star is the reality TV personality Jessica Cunningham from The Apprentice and more recently Celebrity Big Brother. She plays a woman who works in a shabby ‘ad’ agency, who had, six months earlier, gotten drugged and raped by a clown in a pub toilet. Left to complete a rebranding for a local circus, she finds herself locked in the office with a murderous clown, who may or may not be one of her colleagues in disguise. Could it be her boss, the unhinged Charlie Boy (ROY BASNETT) or Quasimodo (STEPHEN GREENHALGH), the sinister janitor? Could be!? Who cares?
Clown Kill serves up limited laughs, and as weak as they are the ‘have a go’ bunch look like the cast had a good cackle at themselves in the process. Particularly, the two night security guards – still disposable – but at least they have a good line of piss-taking and practical joke playing before the clown gruesomely dispatches them. Did I say this was a horror? Well, it’s about as scary as an episode of Crossroads. There’s zero tension, so the decision to throw in a bunch of jokes was very wise.
The last horror we watched here was the pompous and utterly boring Ripper, which attempted to restore Jack The Ripper, as the ultimate film bogeyman. Clown Kill tries the same, but instead mixes humour with the murderous villainy. It’s the kind of role that welcomes plenty of egg and ham, and I think the actor who plays the killer clown nails it. It’s just that the film and the location are cheap and the story takes way to long to get going. Yet, if you’re in a very, very forgiving mood, this weird horror-comedy from Widnes or Runcorn could be exactly what you need. If you’re not in the moon it’s just another cheapo quicky to quickly forget about.
2.5 out of 10 – Very lumpy, cut-price slasher flick with amusing script and game performances from it’s amateur cast. Cheapo the Clown, if you like.
WHAT HAVE I SEEN THAT ACTOR IN BEFORE?
- Jessica Cunningham: Celebrity Big Brother (TV), The Apprentice (TV)
- Tim Paley: Tash Force, Diary of a Bad Lad