CHURCHILL

6.5 out of 10

REVIEW COMING SOON

Release date: 16th June 2017

Director: Jonathan Teplitzky (The Railway Man / Gettin Square)

Cast: Brian Cox, Miranda Richardson, John Slattery, Ella Purnell, Julian Wadham, Richard Durden, Danny Webb, Jonathan Aris, Steven Cree, George Anton, and James Purefoy

Written: Alex von Tunzelman

Trailer: CHURCHILL

WHAT HAVE I SEEN THAT ACTOR IN BEFORE?

  • Brian Cox: Super Troopers 2, The Autopsy Jane Doe, The Carer, Morgan, Pixels, The Anomaly, Believe (2014), Her (voice), Red 2, Blood (2013), The Campaign, Coriolanus, Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes, The VeteranIronclad, Red, Fantastic Mr Fox (voice), The Escapist, The Water Horse, Zodiac, Shoot On Sight, Red Eye, Match Point, The Bourne Supremacy, Troy, X Men 2, 25th Hour, Adaptation, The Ring, The Bourne Identity, Super Troopers, For The Love Of The Money, The Corruptor, Rushmore, Desperate Measures, The Boxer, Kiss The Girls, The Long Kiss Goodnight, The Glimmer Man, Chain Reaction, Braveheart, Rob Roy, Iron Will, Hidden Agenda, Manhunter
  • Miranda Richardson: The Happy Prince, iBoy, Testament of Youth, Belle, Maleficent, Harry Potter 7, Made In Dagenham, The Young Victoria, Fred Claus, Southland Tales, Paris Je T’Aime, Harry Potter 4, Wah Wah, The Phantom Of The Opera, The Churchill Years, The Prince and Me, The Actors, The Hours, Spider, Get Carter (2000),  Sleepy Hollow, The Evening Star, Swann, Kansas City, Tom & Viv, Century, Damage, The Crying Game, Enchanted April, Empire Of The Sun, Black Adder 2 (TV), Dance With a Stranger
  • John Slattery: Veep (TV), Captain America 3, Spotlight, Ant Man, Ted 2, Mad Men (TV), In Our Nature, The Adjustment Bureau, Iron Man 2, Charlie Wilson’s War, Desperate Housewives (TV), Reservation Road, Flags of our Fathers, Dirty Dancing 2, Mona Lisa Smile, The Station Agent
  • Ella Purnell: Access All Areas, Miss Peregrine’s Home For Peculiar Children, Maleficent, Kick Ass 2, Intruders, Never Let Me Go
  • Julian Wadham: The Happy Prince, Victoria and Abdul, The 9th Life of Louis Drax, Queen and Country, The Riot Club, Cheerful Weather For The Wedding, Now Is Good,  Outpost 2, Outpost, The English Patient, The Madness Of King George III, The Iron Lady, War Horse, Wah-Wah, Dominion – Prequel To The Exorcist, Exorcist – The Beginning, Keep The Aspidistra Flying, The Secret Agent (1996), Maurice
  • Richard Durden: Dickensian (TV), Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell (TV), Papadopoulos & Sons, From Paris With Love
  • Danny Webb: Crow, City of Tiny Lights, Remainder, Humans (TV),  Criminal (2016), The Contract (2016), A Little Chaos, Locke (voice)Ironclad 2, HummingbirdThe Arbor, Valkyrie, Shiner, Still Crazy, True Blue, Alien 3, Brookside (TV)
  • Jonathan Aris: Lucky Man (TV), Star Wars – Rogue One, Race, The Martian, Humans (TV), Sherlock (TV), Sightseers
  • Steven Cree: The Titan, Brotherhood (2016), Swung, #Legacy, Marvellous, The Knot, Tower Block, Huge
  • George Anton: Calibre, The Loch (TV), Law & Order UK (TV), Two Thousand Acres of Sky (TV), Piece of Cake (TV)
  • James Purefoy: Interlude In Prague, Momentum, High-Rise, Episodes (TV), John Carter, Solomon KaneIronclad, Resident Evil, Maybe Baby, A Knight’s Tale,  The Wedding Tackle, Mansfield Park (1999), Lighthouse,Bedrooms & Hallways

 

CHICKLIT

3.5 out of 10

REVIEW COMING SOON

Release date: 2nd September 2016

Director: Tony Britten (Draw On Sweet Night)

Cast: Christian McKay, Dakota Blue Richards, Miles Jupp, Eileen Atkins, David Troughton, Caroline Catz, Tom Palmer and James Wilby with Niamh Cusack, Cathy Tyson and John Hurt

Writer: Oliver Britten & Tony Britten

Trailer: CHICKLIT

WHAT HAVE I SEEN THAT ACTOR IN BEFORE?

  • Christian McKay: Florence Foster Jenkins, Draw On Sweet Night  The Theory of Everything, Northern Soul, Rush (2013), Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, Mr Nice, Me and Orson Welles
  • Dakota Blue Richards: Endeavour (TV), The Quiet Hour, The Fold, Skins (TV), The Secret of Moonacre, The Golden Compass
  • Miles Jupp: Journey’s End, 8 out of 10 Cats (TV) (presenter), Mock of the Week (TV), Have I Got News For You (TV), Rev (TV), Balamory (TV)
  • Eileen Atkins: Suite Francaise, Magic In The Moonlight, Doc Martin (TV), Beautiful Creatures, Wild Target (2010), Psychoville (TV), Robin Hood (2010), Last Chance Harvey, Scenes Of a Sexual Nature, Cold Mountain, The Hours, Gosford Park, The Avengers (1998), Wolf, Jack and Sarah, Let Him Have It, Equus
  • David Troughton: The Levelling, Nina Forever, The Interceptor (TV), New Tricks (TV), Casualty 1909 (TV), Casualty 1907 (TV), Captain Jack, Bonjour la Classe (TV), The Chain, Wings (TV), David Copperfield (1975)(TV), Dr Who (TV)
  • Caroline Catz: DCI Banks (TV), Doc Martin (TV)
  • Tom Palmer: Eastenders (TV), Dr Who (TV)
  • James Wilby: Breathe, The Sense of an Ending, Casualty (TV), Titanic (TV), De-Lovely, Gosford Park, Cotton Mary, Tom’s Midnight Garden, An Ideal Husband, Regeneration, Crocodile Shoes (TV), Lady Chatterley (TV), Immaculate Conception, Howard’s End, A Handful of Dust, Maurice, Privileged
  • Niamh Cusack: The Ghoul, Departure, Testament of Youth, The Kid (2010), The Closer You Get, Heartbeat (TV), The Playboys (1992), Fools of Fortune, A Marriage of Inconvenience, Paris By Night
  • Cathy Tyson: The Marker, Mob Handed, Grange Hill (TV), Band of Gold (TV), Priest (1994), The Serpent and The Rainbow, Mona Lisa
  • John Hurt: That Good Night, Damascus Cover, The Journey, My Name Is Lenny, Jackie, Snowpiercer, Hercules (2014), Only Lovers Left Alive, Doctor Who – Day of the Doctor, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy,  Immortals (2011), Brighton Rock (2011),  Harry Potter 1,7 & 8, Melancholia,  New York I Love You, 44 Inch Chest, The Limits Of Control, V For Vendetta, Hellboy 1 & 2, Outlander, Indiana Jones and The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull, Perfume, The Oxford Murders, The Skeleton Key, Captain Corelli’s Mandolin,  The Proposition, Lost Souls, Contact, Night Train, You’re Dead, All The Little Animals, Love and Death On Long Island, WIld Bill (1995), Dead Man, Rob Roy, Second Best, Even Cowgirls Get The Blues, Monolith, King Ralph, The Field, Scandal, White Mischief, Heaven’s Gate, The Elephant Man, 1984, Watership Down (voice), Midnight Express, Alien, The Naked Civil Servant, 10 Rillington Place, Little Malcolm

THE CUTTING ROOM

4 out of 10

Release date: 1st June 2015 (DVD Premiere)

Director: Warren Dudley (The Bromley Boys / Cage)

Cast: Lucy-Jane Quinlan, Parry Glasshouse, Lydia Orange, Jason Rhodes, Louisa Adams and TJ Herbert

Writer: Warren Dudley

Trailer: THE CUTTING ROOM

the-cutting-room.36946

Director and writer Warren Dudley has surrounded himself with a decent cast for his formulaic if lively debut. His horror is yet-another ‘rats in a maze / found-footage’ flick that offers nothing new. It gives the game young cast a bit of variety for their showreels though as the plot tells the full story of how they met their horrific ends at the hand of a serial killer. We rewind, wayyyyyy too far, to the minute the film camera was hired from their college.  So we see our lead trio, fart about, talk relationships, project ideas and much more in the lead up. Most of which should have hit the Cutting Room floor because nothing worth keeping. The plot background slowly put together and yet feels unnecessarily laboured and over worked.

Three media students team up to make a documentary. They choose the subject of bullying which somehow morphs into an amateur missing person’s case. All this ends up in a spooky museum / castle / derelict military facility – with our daring trio chased by a killer with a penchant for slow torture.

We’ve been here before many times, and there’s nothing much I can write to say this distinguishes itself from the pack apart from a solid cast, natural performance, naturally obnoxuious characters and competent enough execution. As a debut, the director shows he has the basics to build on, and he has proved that with his second film, another horror called Cage. Hopefully, he will continue on this upward swing, as Dudley’s not a bad writer and director, who needs to work on becoming a bit more imaginative.

4 out of 10 – The Cutting Room won’t be one anybody’s list of top 10s. Even a short time after watching it, I find the details, and soon to follow, the whole film, fading from memory.

Second review below by Matt Usher

WHAT HAVE I SEEN THAT ACTOR IN BEFORE?

  • Lucy-Jane Quinlan: The Bromley Boys, Cage
  • Parry Glasshouse: Hollyoaks (TV), Hollyoaks Later (TV)
  • Jason Rhodes: The Bromley Boys
  • TJ Herbert: The Bromley Boys, Perfect Break, A Dark Reflection, Family Affairs (TV)

CLOWN KILL

2.5 out of 10

Release date: 15th May 2017 (DVD Premiere)

Director: Mark J Howard

Cast: Roy Basnett, Jessica Cunningham, Stephen Greenhalgh, James Thompson, Tim Paley, Holly Chadwick, Rachel Dargie, Jeff Downs and Simon Entwistle

Writer: Mark J Howard & Stephen Greenhalgh

Trailer: CLOWN KILL

clown-kill-left-films-dvd

This narky, no-budget stalker flick at least attempts to be memorable. In a lot of ways, it’s only the budget and the limits of some of its performers that holds this killer clown flick back from achieving a comic notoriety on the same level as some of the well-worn Hollywood horror franchises. However, Stitches it is not – it’s not even Jason X. The main star is the reality TV personality Jessica Cunningham from The Apprentice and more recently Celebrity Big Brother. She plays a woman who works in a shabby ‘ad’ agency, who had, six months earlier, gotten drugged and raped by a clown in a pub toilet. Left to complete a rebranding for a local circus, she finds herself locked in the office with a murderous clown, who may or may not be one of her colleagues in disguise. Could it be her boss, the unhinged Charlie Boy (ROY BASNETT) or Quasimodo (STEPHEN GREENHALGH), the sinister janitor? Could be!? Who cares?

Clown Kill serves up limited laughs, and as weak as they are the ‘have a go’ bunch look like the cast had a good cackle at themselves in the process. Particularly, the two night security guards – still disposable – but at least they have a good line of piss-taking and practical joke playing before the clown gruesomely dispatches them. Did I say this was a horror? Well, it’s about as scary as an episode of Crossroads. There’s zero tension, so the decision to throw in a bunch of jokes was very wise.

The last horror we watched here was the pompous and utterly boring Ripper, which attempted to restore Jack The Ripper, as the ultimate film bogeyman. Clown Kill tries the same, but instead mixes humour with the murderous villainy. It’s the kind of role that welcomes plenty of egg and ham, and I think the actor  who plays the killer clown nails it. It’s just that the film and the location are cheap and the story takes way to long to get going. Yet, if you’re in a very, very forgiving mood, this weird horror-comedy from Widnes or Runcorn could be exactly what you need. If you’re not in the moon it’s just another cheapo quicky to quickly forget about.

2.5 out of 10 – Very lumpy, cut-price slasher flick with amusing script and game performances from it’s amateur cast. Cheapo the Clown, if you like.

Second review below by Matt ‘Chuckles’ Usher

WHAT HAVE I SEEN THAT ACTOR IN BEFORE?

  • Jessica Cunningham: Celebrity Big Brother (TV), The Apprentice (TV)
  • Tim Paley: Tash Force, Diary of a Bad Lad

CAGE

4.5 out of 10

Release date: 1st April 2017 (DVD Premiere)

Director: Warren Dudley (The Cutting Room)

Cast: Lucy-Jane Quinlan and Patrick Bergin

Voice cast: Jake Unsworth, Sharon Drain and Andy Costello

Writer: Warren Dudley

Trailer: CAGE

POSTERweb-1-e1489574869617

This economy-class thriller has a secret weapon – a very, very strong and convincing performance by the only actress ‘seen’ in the film, Lucy-Jane Quinlan (THE BROMLEY BOYS). All else would have failed if they gotten a weaker, less committed young performer.

Phone sex-worker, Gracie agrees to meet a client called Peter (PATRICK BERGIN – PATRIOT GAMES). This is against her employers rules, but she is out of money and desperate. The next morning she awakes, a captive in a giant wooden cage, containing a bed, her mobile phone, food and a raging headache. The door is locked shut with a chain and padlock, and she appears to be too weak to smash her way out or try other methods we know. Her only instructions are to wait and all will be revealed as to why she is being held, and that she mustn’t contact the police.  As the days wind onwards, she is put under pressure by a family emergency which she cannot attend to, and increasingly cryptic Peter to deal with.

There is a twist in the tale but then there always is in these types of thrillers. It’s terrifically naff, and not particularly convincing. However, it does present the viewer with something different. It’s a hard one to swallow. Thanks to the previously mentioned central performance, Cage just about sells its story to us and it holds its ground amongst earlier films that offered up a similar premise. It’s a shame there’s still one or two plot holes like – where’s her toilet? Why is she left with a mobile phone that can dial out? I thought it was quite clever how the captor kept her on a hook long enough, so as to get her too weak to break out, but most people we know would have tried harder, sooner to escape. I don’t care how much you needed the money.

4.5 out of 10 – Good low-budget attempt at kidnap thriller that capitalises on a great performance from its unknown lead, but flounders with a twist that nobody wanted and reeks of cop-out.

WHAT HAVE I SEEN THAT ACTOR IN BEFORE?

THE CHAMBER (2017)

6 out of 10

REVIEW COMING SOON

Release Date: 27th March 2017 (DVD Premiere)

Director: Ben Parker

Cast: Johannes Bah Kuhnke, Charlotte Salt, James McArdle, Elliot Levey and David Horovitch

Writer: Ben Parker

Trailer:THE CHAMBER (2017)

WHAT HAVE I SEEN THAT ACTOR IN BEFORE?

  • Johannes Bah Kuhnke: Forces Majeure
  • Charlotte Salt: The Bunker, The Musketeers (TV), Casualty (TV), The Tudors (TV)
  • James McArdle: On the Road (2017)
  • Elliot Levey: Denial, Florence Foster Jenkins, Spooks – The Greater Good, Man Down (TV),  Da Vinci’s Demons (TV), The Low Down
  • David Horovitch: The Infiltrator, Mr Turner, In Your Dreams, Young Victoria, Max, Solomon & Gaenor, Just William (TV)

CRUEL SUMMER

7.5 out of 10

REVIEW COMING SOON

Release date: 13th February 2017 (DVD Premiere)

Director: Phillip Escott & Craig Newman

Cast: Danny Miller, Richard Pawulski, Natalie Martins, Reece Douglas, Gary Knowles, Grace Dixon and Thomas ‘Verb T’ Conning

Writer: Phillip Escott & Craig Newman

Trailer: CRUEL SUMMER

WHAT HAVE I SEEN THAT ACTOR IN BEFORE?