GRIDIRON UK

2.5 out of 10

REVIEW COMING SOON

Release date: 20th March 2017 (DVD Premiere)

Director: Gary Delaney

Cast: Michael Dixon, Rebecca Summers, Dorsey Levens, Stephen Marcus, Andrew Harwood Mills, Anthony Quinlan, Annie Vanders, Gil Kolirin, Jon-Paul Gates, Russell Floyd, Rebecca Ferdinando with Helen Lederer, Mem Ferda and Paul Nicholas

Writer: Gary Delaney

Trailer: GRIDIRON UK

WHAT HAVE I SEEN THAT ACTOR IN BEFORE?

THE GIRL WITH ALL THE GIFTS

7.5 out of 10

REVIEW COMING SOON

Release date: 23rd September 2016

Director: Colm McCarthy (Peaky Blinders (TV))

Cast: Gemma Arterton, Paddy Considine, Glenn Close, Sennia Nanua, Anamaria Marinca with Anthony Welsh and Fisayo Akinade

Writer: Mike Carey

Trailer:THE GIRL WITH ALL THE GIFTS

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THE GOSPEL OF US – THE PASSION OF PORT TALBOT

4 out of 10

REVIEW COMING SOON

Release date: 13th April 2012 (DVD Premiere)

Director: Dave McKean (Luna / Mirrormask)

Cast: Michael Sheen, Di Botcher, Matthew Aubrey, John-Paul MacLeod, Boyd Clack, Sharon Morgan, Darren Lawrence and Iwan Rheon

Writer: Owen Sheers

Trailer: THE GOSPEL OF US

WHAT HAVE I SEEN THAT ACTOR IN BEFORE?

 

 

 

GANGSTERS GAMBLERS AND GEEZERS

1.5 out of 10

Release Date: 16th January 2017 (DVD Premiere)

Director: Amar Adatia and Peter Peralta

Cast: Amar Adatia, Peter Peralta, Richard Blackwood, Nicola Duffett, Ayden Callaghan, Katarina Gellin, Jessica-Jane Stafford, Stephen Cavanagh, Jake Hendriks, Tiny Iron, Big Narstie, Kele le Roc, Liz McClarnon, Shizzio, Big Narstie, Conan Sweeny, Frankie Fitzgerald, Steve Perry aka Ben Dover, Jodie Marsh with Richie Campbell and Dave Courtney

Writer: Amar Adatia and Peter Peralta

Trailer: GANGSTERS GAMBLERS AND GEEZERS

photoA lot of heart has gone into the making of this movie, Gangsters Gamblers and Geezers. You get the sense that the young directors/actors really believed they were on to something and that they had a gift for comedy. Sadly, and even though they stuck to the plan and saw this labour of love through to the end, this piss-weak tribute to the American Harold & Kumar movies is as terrible as they come. The thing with comedy is, is that you put more of your ego on the line than you would with a drama piece. It’s a real gift to make someone laugh naturally, but neither Adatia, Peralta or most of their eclectic cast have the right stuff. It’s mostly boring, excruciating, casually racist, sexist, and worst of all, 99 per cent unfunny.

Krish (AMAR ADATIA – DANGEROUS GAME) and Lee (PETER PERALTA – TRIADS YARDIES AND ONION BHAJEES) are so bad at their careers – they are call centre dorks – that they get sacked and decide to get into export-import because nobody really knows what it is. First they try to be chicken delivery men, then sex escorts, but somehow draw the attention of London’s hardest gangsters, MI-5, Al-Qaeda, and some Irish gypsies. It all culminates with them being accused of being Europe’s most dangerous men.Europe’s unfunniest men maybe, but most dangerous. So the film finally ends up with a car chase around a learner driving acre where the footage has been sped up  Benny Hill style…

Dave Courtney (FULL ENGLISH BREAKFAST) does his usual schtick as the lead heavy in the movie. Richard Blackwood (ANGEL) plays an African landlord with a Jamaican accent. His two oppos are indecipherable too and baffle more than entertain. It’s a shame because these guys have been working on this film, initially titled Krish and Lee for about 5 years and the results of their hard work are just terrible. Good points go to Tiny Iron’s pimp, who rose a few smiles, and a scene about being able to tell the weight of fried chicken by lifting a carrier bag is good fun, thanks to rapper Shizzio and some pals. Mostly it’s amateur half-hour best avoided unless comedy is a new concept to you.

1.5 out of 10 – Gimps, Gobshites and Wannabes. This is limp.

WHAT HAVE I SEEN THOSE ACTORS IN BEFORE?

Posted in G.

GOLDEN YEARS

4.5 out of 10

REVIEW COMING SOON

Release date: 29th April 2016

Director: John Miller

Cast: Bernard Hill, Virginia McKenna, Phil Davis, Brad Moore, Sue Johnston, Mark Williams, Una Stubbs, Ellen Thomas, Nigel Allen, Simon Armstrong with Simon Callow and Alun Armstrong

Writer: John Miller

Trailer: GOLDEN YEARS

WHAT HAVE I SEEN THAT ACTOR IN BEFORE?

  • Bernard Hill: North V South, Wolf Hall (TV), Outpost 11, The Kid (2010), Valkyrie, Franklyn, Joy Division, The League Of Gentleman’s Apocalypse, Wimbledon, Lord Of The Rings – Return Of The King, Lord of the Rings – The Two Towers, The Scorpion King, Going Off Big Time, The Loss Of Sexual Innocence, True Crime, Titanic (1998), The Ghost and The Darkness, Madagascar Skin, Double X, Mountains Of The Moon, Shirley Valentine, Drowning By Numbers,  No Surrender, The Chain, The Bounty, Gandhi, Boys From The Black Stuff (TV)
  • Virginia McKenna: Sliding Doors, Staggered, The Camomile Lawn (TV), Swallows and Amazons (1974), Waterloo, A Ring of Bright Water, Born Free, A Town Like Alice
  • Phil Davis: Dough, Poldark (TV), Mr Holmes, Age of KillIn The Blood (2015), Silk (TV), Whitechapel (TV), Being Human (TV), Borrowed Time, Fast GirlsOutside Bet,  Brighton Rock (2011)Another YearDead Man RunningThe Big I AmJust For The Record, Cassandra’s Dream, Notes On a Scandal, The Baby Juice Express, Vera Drake, Rose & Maloney (TV), Nicholas Nickleby (2002), Photographing Fairies, Crimetime, I.D. (dir),  Blue Ice, Alien 3,  High Hopes, The Bounty, Quadrophenia
  • Brad Moore: Gloves Off, Writer’s Retreat, North V South, Montana, The Search For Simon
  • Sue Johnston: Downton Abbey (TV), Coronation Street (TV), The Royle Family (TV), Waking The Dead (TV), Imagine Me & You, My Uncle Silas (TV), Face, Preaching To The Perverted, Brassed Off, Medics (TV), Brookside (TV)
  • Mark Williams: Father Brown (TV), Flutter, Albert Nobbs, Harry Potter parts 1 – 8, Stardust, A Cock and Bull Story, Agent Cody Banks 2, High Heels and Low Lifes, The Fast Show (TV), Whatever to Happened To Harold Smith?, Shakespeare In Love, The Borrowers, 101 Dalmatians, The Smell of Reeves and Mortimer (TV), Alexei Sayle’s Stuff (TV), Red Dwarf (TV)
  • Una Stubbs: Sherlock (TV), Eastenders (TV), The Worst Witch (TV), Worzel Gumidge Down Under (TV), In Sickness and In Health (TV), Worzel Gummidge (TV), Till Death Do Us Part (TV), Summer Holiday
  • Ellen Thomas: Eastenders (TV), It’s a Lot, Rev (TV), Clubbed, Teachers (TV), Wonderland (1999), The Lenny Henry Show (TV)
  • Simon Armstrong: Crowhurst, Viking – The BerserkersIn The Dark Half, Game Of Thrones (TV), Casualty (TV)
  • Simon Callow: Hampstead, Outlander (TV), Love’s Kitchen, Ripley Underground, The Phantom of the Opera (2004), Bright Young Things, Thunderpants, No Man’s Land, Shakespeare In Love, Bedrooms and Hallways, The Scarlet Tunic, James and The Giant Peach (voice), Ace Ventura 2, Jefferson In Paris, Streetfighter, Four Weddings and a Funeral, Soft Top Hard Shoulder, Mr & Mrs Bridge, Postcards From The Edge, Maurice, A Room With a View, Amadeus
  • Alun Armstrong: Penny Dreadful (TV), New Tricks (TV), Little Dorritt (TV), Eragon, Bleak House (TV), Oliver Twist (2005), Millions, Van Helsing, Strictly Sinatra, The Mummy 2, Sleepy Hollow, GMT – Greenwich Mean Time, Onegin, With or Without You, The Saint, Our Friends In The North (TV), Braveheart, An Awfully Big Adventure, Black Beauty (1994), Blue Ice, Patriot Games, Split Second, London Kills Me, American Friends, White Hunter Black Heart, Billy The Kid and The Green Baize Vampire, The French Lieutenant’s Woman, A Bridge Too Far, The Duellists, The Likely Lads, Get Carter

GRIMSBY

5.5 out of 10

REVIEW COMING SOON

Release Date: 24th February 2016

Director: Louis Leterrier (Now You See Me / Clash of the Titans (2010) / The Incredible Hulk (2008) / Transporter 2 / Unleashed / The Transporter)

Cast: Sacha Baron Cohen, Mark Strong, Isla Fisher, Rebel Wilson, Ian McShane, Scott Adkins, Annabelle Wallis, Ricky Tomlinson, Johnny Vegas, John Thompson, Sam Hazeldine, Barkhad Abdi, Lewis Johnson, Gabriel Chay Palmer, Lex Shrapnel, David James, Yusuf Hofri, Tamsin Egerton with Gabourey Sidbibe and Penelope Cruz

Writer: Sacha Baron Cohen, Phil Johnstone & Peter Baynham

Trailer: GRIMSBY

WHAT HAVE I SEEN THAT GUY IN BEFORE?

  • Sacha Baron Cohen: Alice In Wonderland 2, Anchorman 2, Les Miserables (2013), The Dictator, Madagascar 3 (voice),  Hugo, Madagascar 2 (voice), Bruno, Borat, Talladega Nights, Madagascar (voice), Ali G Inda House, The Jolly Boys Last Stand,The Ali G Show (TV), The 11 O’ Clock Show (TV)
  • Mark Strong: Kingsman 2, 6 Days, Miss Sloane, The Siege of Jadotville, Kingsman – The Secret Service, The Imitation Game, Before I Go To SleepBlood (2013), Welcome To The Punch, Zero Dark Thirty, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, Kick Ass, The Guard, John Carter, Black Gold,  The Eagle, Robin Hood (2010), The Green Lantern,  The Way Back, Sherlock Holmes (2009), Rock-N-Rolla, Body Of Lies, Young Victoria, Flashbacks Of a Fool, Sunshine (2007), Stardust, Scenes Of a Sexual Nature, Revolver, Syriana, The Long Firm (TV), Heartlands, The Martins, Elephant Juice, Fever Pitch, Hotel (2001), Our Friends In The North (TV), Captives
  • Isla Fisher: Keeping Up With The Joneses, Nocturnal Animals, Now You See Me, The Great Gatsby (2013), Bachlorette, Burke and Hare, Rango (voice), Horton Hears a Who (voice), Confessions Of a Shopaholic, Definitely Maybe, Hot Rod, The Lookout, Wedding Crashers, I Heart Huckabees, Scooby Doo, Home and Away (TV)
  • Rebel Wilson: Pitch Perfect 3, Absolutely Fabulous – The Movie, Bachelorette, Pitch Perfect 2, Night At The Museum 3, A Few Best Men, Pain & Gain, Pitch Perfect, Ice Age 4 (voice), What To Expect When You’re Expecting, Small Apartments, Bridesmaids, Bogan Pride (TV), Pizza (TV)
  • Ian McShane: American Gods (TV),  Jawbone, John Wick 2, The Hollow Point, Ray Donovan (TV),  John Wick, Hercules (2014), Jack The Giant Slayer, Cuban Fury, Snow White & The Huntsman, Pirates Of The Caribbean 4, 44 Inch Chest, Case 39, Coraline (voice), Death Race (2008), Kung Fu Panda (voice), The Golden Compass (voice), Hot Rod, Shrek 3 (voice), Deadwood (TV), Scoop, Agent Cody Banks, Sexy Beast, Lovejoy (TV), Dallas (TV)
  • Scott Adkins: Accident Man, Triple Threat,  Undisputed 4, Eliminators, Doctor Strange, Hard Target 2, Undisputed 4, Eliminators, Jarhead 3, Zero Tolerance, Re-Kill, Criminal (2016), Legendary, Ninja 2, The Legend of Hercules, Green Street 3, Universal Soldier 4, Zero Dark Thirty, The Expendables 2, Assassination Games, Undisputed 3, The Tournament, X Men: Wolverine, Undisputed 2, The Bourne Ultimatum, Eastenders (TV)
  • Annabelle Wallis: The Mummy (2017), Knights of the Roundtable – King Arthur (2015), Mine, Peaky Blinders (TV), Hello Carter, Sword of Vengeance,  Annabelle, The Tudors (TV)
  • Ricky Tomlinson: Mike Bassett – England Manager 2,  Gloves Off, FlutterNorthern Soul, Nativity!, The Royle Family (TV), Mike Bassett – Manager (TV), Once Upon a Time In The Midlands, Playing The Field (TV), Formula 51, Mike Bassett – England Manager, Nasty Neighbours, Mojo, Preaching To The Perverted, Cracker (TV), Bob’s Weekend, Butterfly Kiss, Raining Stones, Riff Raff, Brookside (TV)
  • Johnny Vegas: Early Man (voice), Benidorm (TV), We Still Open All Hours (TV), Moone Boy (TV), The Harry Hill Movie (voice), Ideal (TV), Benidorm (TV), Bleak House (TV), The Libertine, Sex Lives of The Potato Men, Blackball
  • John Thomson: Cold Feet (TV), Northern Soul, The Fast Show (TV), Coronation Street (TV), Inkheart, Wallace & Gromit in The Curse of the Were-Rabbit (voice), Fat Slags, 24 Hour Party People, Born Romantic, Playing The Field (TV), Up N’Under, The Girl With Brains In Her Feet, The Man Who Knew Too Little, Spitting Image (TV) (voice), The Young Poisoners Handbook
  • Sam Hazeldine: The Hitman’s Bodyguard, The Mechanic 2, Cherry Tree, The Huntsman – Winter’s War,  Still’71, The Machine (2014), The Monuments Men, Peaky Blinders (TV), Dead Mine, The Raven, Don’t Let Him In, Weekender
  • Barkhad Abdi: Bladerunner 2, Extortion, Eye In The Sky, Captain Phillips
  • Lex Shrapnel: Seal Team 8, Holby City (TV), Minder (TV), Fly Boys, Thunderbirds (2004), K:19
  • Tamsin Egerton: Queen & Country, Love Rosie, Grand Piano, The Look of Love, HugeChalet Girl4-3-2-1,  St. Trinians 2, St Trinians, Keeping Mum, Driving Lessons
  • Gabourey Sidibe: American Horror Story (TV), Empire (TV), White Bird In a Blizzard, Seven Psychopaths, Tower Heist, Precious
  • Penelope Cruz: Murder On The Orient Express, Zoolander 2, The Counselor, I’m So Excited, To Rome With Love, Pirates Of The Caribbean 4, Sex and The City 2, Nine, G-Force (voice), Broken Embraces, Vicky Cristina Barcelona, Elegy, The Good Night, Chromophobia, Volver, Bandidas, Sahara, Head In The Clouds, Gothika, Vanilla Sky, Captain Corelli’s Mandolin, Blow, All The Pretty Horses, Women On Top, All About My Mother, The Hi-Lo Country, If Only, Open Your Eyes, Live Flesh, Belle Epoque, Jamon Jamon

THE GOOB

8 out of 10

REVIEW COMING SOON

Release Date: 29th May 2015

Director: Guy Myhill

Cast: Liam Walpole, Sean Harris, Sienna Guillory, Oliver Kennedy, Hannah Spearitt, Marama Corlett, Rosa French, Joe Copsey and Paul Popplewell

Writer: Guy Myhill

Trailer: THE GOOB

WHAT HAVE I SEEN THAT ACTOR IN BEFORE?

  • Sean Harris: Trespass Against Us, Macbeth (2015), Mission Impossible 5, ’71, Serena, Deliver Us From Evil, The Borgias (TV), Prometheus, Brighton Rock (2011),  A Lonely Place To Die, Isolation, Creep, Harry Brown, 24 Hour Party People, Outlaw, Brothers Of The Head, Trauma
  • Sienna Guillory: High -Rise, Fortitude (TV), Luther (TV), Resident Evil 5, Resident Evil 4, Inkheart, Eragon, Resident Evil 3, Love Actually, The Principles of Lust, The Time Machine (2002), Late Night Shopping, Sorted
  • Hannah Spearitt: Primeval (TV), Seed of Chucky, Agent Cody Banks 2, S Club Seeing Double, Viva S Club (TV), Hollywood 7 (TV), S Club 7 In Miami (TV), S Club In LA (TV), S Club Back To The ’50s (TV)
  • Paul Popplewell: ID 2, ’71, Spike IslandTyrannosaur, The Waiting Room, Morvern Callar, 24 Hour Party People