5 out of 10


Release Date: 30th October 2015

Director: Kevin Allen (Benidorm (TV) / Agent Cody Banks 2 / The Big Tease / Twin Town)

Cast: Rhys Ifans, Charlotte Church, Nia Roberts, Sara Lloyd Gregory, Boyd Clack, Sue Roderick, Steffan Rhodri, Bradley Freegard, Matthew Owen, Buddug Verona James, Dai Protheroe, Aneirin Hughes, Helen Griffin, Di Botcher, Lisa Palfrey, Carlton Bunce with Llyr Evans and William Thomas

Writer: Dylan Thomas / Kevin Allen, Michael Breen and Murray Lachlan Young

Trailer: UNDER MILK WOOD (2015)


  • Rhys Ifans: Alice In Wonderland 2, Dominion, Serena, She’s Funny That Way, The Amazing Spider Man, Anonymous, Mr Nice, Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows- part 1, Nanny McPhee 2, Greenberg, The Boat That Rocked, Elizabeth I- The Golden Age, Hannibal Rising, Garfield 2 (voice), Chromophobia, Enduring Love, Once Upon a Time In The Midlands, The Shipping News, The 51st State, Hotel (2001), Human Nature, Little Nicky, Kevin and Perry Go Large!, Love Honour and Obey, You’re Dead, Janice Beard 45wpm, Notting Hill, Dancing At Lughnasa, Twin Town, August (1996)
  • Charlotte Church: Under Milk Wood (2014), The Charlotte Church Show (TV), I’ll Be There
  • Nia Roberts: Just Jim, The Facility, Patagonia
  • Sara Lloyd Gregory: S.N.U.B!, Patagonia, A Way of Life
  • Boyd Clack: Risen (2010)
  • Sue Roderick: Coronation Street (TV), Rebecca’s Daughters, Hedd Wynn
  • Steffan Rhodri: Under Milk Wood (2014), Gavin & Stacey (TV), Solomon & Gaenor
  • Aneirin Hughes: Just Jim, Holby City (TV), Eastenders (TV), Judge John Deed (TV), Doctors (TV), Family Affairs (TV)
  • Helen Griffin: The Machine (2014), Risen (2010)
  • Di Botcher: Stella (TV), The Gospel of Us, High Hopes (TV), Twin Town
  • Lisa Palfrey: Pride (2014), Maybe Baby, Guest House Paradiso, House of America, The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill But Came Down a Mountain
  • Llyr Evans: Twin Town
  • William Thomas: Just Jim, Torchwood (TV), Mr Nice, Solomon & Gaenor, Darklands, Twin Town


3 out of 10


Release Date: 22nd May 2015

Director: John Henderson (Benidorm (TV) / Saxondale (TV) / Hyperdrive (TV) / Greyfriars Bobby / Bring Me The Head of Mavis Davis / Loch Ness / Spitting Image (TV))

Cast: Bobby Lockwood, Richard Wisker, Shannon Flynn, Dionne Bromfield, George Sear, Ethan Lawrence, Louisa Connolly-Burnham, Tyger Drew Honey, Nathan Bryon, Marcus Brigstocke with David Mitchell, Kevin Eldon and Angus Barnett

Writer: Toby Davies



  • Bobby Lockwood: Access All Areas, Mum’s List, Wolfblood (TV), House of Anubis (TV)
  • Richard Wisker: Dani’s Castle (TV), Friday Download (TV), Tracey Beaker Returns (TV), The Tracey Beaker Survival Files (TV)
  • Shannon Flynn: Dani’s Castle (TV), Waterloo Road (TV), Friday Download (TV)
  • Dionne Bromfield: Friday Download (TV)
  • George Sear: Friday Download (TV)
  • Ethan Lawrence: The Bad Education Movie, Bad Education (TV)
  • Louisa Connolly-Burnham: Time Will Tell, Wolfblood (TV), House of Anubis (TV)
  • Tyger Drew-Honey: Horrible Henry Movie
  • Marcus Brigstocke: Have I Got News For You (TV), The Wright Stuff (TV), The Late Edition (TV), What’s The Problem? (TV)
  • David Mitchell: Ambassadors (TV), Peep Show (TV), QI (TV),  Have I Got News For You? (TV), That Mitchell and Webb Look (TV), David Mitchell’s Soap Box (TV), Magicians, I Could Never Be Your Woman, The Mitchell and Webb Situation (TV), The Jack Doherty Show (TV)
  • Kevin Eldon: The Comedian’s Guide To Survival, Danger Mouse (voice)(TV), Set Fire To The Stars, The Wedding Video, Faintheart, Hyperdrive (TV), Hot Fuzz, Nathan Barley (TV)
  • Angus Barnett: Pirates of the Caribbean 5, The Wedding Video, Pirates Of The Caribbean 3, Flood, Pirates Of The Caribbean


6 out of 10


Release Date: 11th December 2009

Director: Alexis dos Santos

Cast: Deborah Francois, Fernando Tielve, Michiel Huismann, Iddo Goldberg, Katia Winter, Alexis dos Santos, Al Weaver, Lucy Tillett, Tim Plester and Richard Lintern

Writer: Alexis dos Santos



  • Deborah Francois: Populaire, The Monk, The Page Turner, L’Enfant
  • Fernanado Tielve: Fernando’s Ghost, The Devil’s Backbone
  • Michiel Huismann: Game of Thrones (TV), The Age of Adeline, Wild, Treme (TV), World War Z, Black Book
  • Iddo Goldberg: The Last Passenger, Peaky Blinders (TV), The Tournament, Secret Diary Of a Call Girl (TV), Defiance
  • Katia Winter: 1066, LVJ, Knight of Cups, Everywhere + Nowhere, Sleepy Hollow (TV), Dexter (TV)
  • Al Weaver: The Last Photograph, Consider Yourself, We Are Tourists, Kill Your Friends, Honeymooner, Powder (2011)
  • Tim Plester: Bone In The Threat, Captain Webb, Love Me Till Monday, Cuban Fury, Magicians, Control
  • Richard Lintern: Heartbeat (TV), The House of Elliott (TV)


2.5 out of 10

Release Date: 12th June 2015

Director: Russell England

Cast: Ameet Chana, Poppy Drayton, Thomas Law, Marcus Griffiths, Morgane Polanski, Rachel Petladwala, Paul Raschid, Andrew Lewis and Will Thorp

Writer: Paul Raschid


Unhallowed-Ground-PosterSomebody’s been overdosing on Scooby Doo! Out of all the haunted house movies I’ve ever seen this is the one that resembles the plot template to every single episode of the popular ghost busting cartoon dog show.  The only thing missing was a dog. Well, the dog is the finished movie really.

The makers left suspense at home on this occasion and thought that they could swap the usual band of frightened team of self-loathers with a bunch of posh school kids playing at soldiers on their last night at boarding school.  Said poshos get given this task 350 years to the day that four head boys where ritualistically murdered during the days of the bubonic plague. Uncanny shadows with glowing eyes turn up in unexpected places whilst the kids carry on oblivously working out their place in the world and amongst their peers. Meanwhile, a pair of really thick cat burglars (AMEET CHANA and WILL THORP) turn up to raid the school archive to steal some first editions books. So our plummy Famous 5 (or 6 in this case) split up and look for clues as to what’s making noises, duffing up the Asian characters and throwing spiders into shower cublicles. I think “Lets split up!” is one of the main bits of dialogue. Even with the added peril of having a human threat (the burglars) as well as the ghosts, the scare level is dialled down to around 1 out of 10. It seems to take an age for the ghostly spirits to attack anybody.

The acting is reasonable by the whole of the cast, yet the script and story is so clunky that any potential it does have leaks away before the mystery is solved. The unmasking of the non-supernatural killers is very Scooby Doo. I think the baddie even says “I would’ve gotten away with it if wasn’t for you…blah, blah…”

The setting is fairly creepy but the whole film is bloodless and fairly boring for a horror. The only fairly well-known actor is Ameet Chana (WILD WEST) who was in Eastenders for a long time. Subsequently, he hogs top billing but he’s not the main character and he seems to be fairly relieved when it’s his turn to go home.

The DVD box gets a mention for being the most misleading cover ever. It has an American style ranch house on the front, not a boarding school (ala Stow) (not the picture included above). The written description also describes the plot to an altogether different film which sounds no better than the effort enclosed. It’s like the synopsis was written long before the film got finished and the wrong word.doc got sent to the PR / Copywriters. It talks about a haunted derelict house on the moors where a group of friends take shelter for the night? The mind boggles.

2.5 out of 10 – All potential is lost by a lack of pace and fear. There’s nothing new to report in this flat exercise in how to make a horror with zero number of scares. Well acted but slight and ultimately botched.

Read below for second review.


  • Ameet Chana: Cash and Curry, Eastenders (TV), The Story of F*ck, Bend It Like Beckham, Wild West
  • Poppy Drayton: Down Dog
  • Thomas Law: Eastenders (TV)
  • Rachel Petladwala: MI High (TV)
  • Andrew Lewis: Holby City (TV)
  • Will Thorp: Coronation Street (TV), Dr Who (TV), Casualty (TV)


3 out of 10

Release Date: 26th January 2015 (DVD Premiere)

Director: Gary Sinyor (In Your Dreams / The Bachelor / Stiff Upper Lips / Solitaire For 2 / Leon The Pig Farmer)

Cast: Jack Donnelly, Jonathan Broke, Ryan Pope, James Rastall, Matthew Avery, Robert Portal, Dana Haqjoo and Anouska Mond

Writer: Gary Sinyor


Review by Matt Usher below



7.5 out of 10

Release Date: 14th March 2014

Director: Jonathan Glazer (Birth / Sexy Beast)

Cast: Scarlett Johansson, Jeremy McWilliams, Michael Moreland, Scott Dymond, Joe Szula, Krystof Hadek and Paul Brannigan

Writer: Walter Campbell / Michel Faber




  • Scarlett Johansson: Captain America 3, The Jungle Book – Origins (voice), Hail Caesar, Avengers Assemble 2, Lucy (2014), Chef, Captain America 2, Her (voice), Don Jon, Hitchcock, Avengers Assemble, We Bought a Zoo, Iron Man 2, He’s Just Not That Into You, The Spirit, Vicky Cristina Barcelona, The Other Boleyn Girl, The Nanny Diaries, The Prestige, Black Dahlia, Scoop, The Island (2005), Match Point, In Good Company, A Good Woman, The Perfect Score, Girl With The Pearl Earring, Lost In Translation, Eight Legged Freaks, The Man Who Wasn’t There, Ghost World, Home Alone 3, The Horse Whisperer, North
  • Joe Szula: Neds
  • Paul Brannigan: Scottish Mussel, Beyond, Sunshine On Leith, The Angel’s Share


3.5 out of 10

Release Date: 18th May 2009 (DVD Premiere)

Director: Chee Keong Cheung (Bodyguard- A New Beginning)

Cast: Mark Strange, Fidel Nanton, Leonard Fenton, Nathan Lewis, Joey Ansah, Zara Phythian, Dave Wong, Sophie Linfield, Leon Sua, Liang Yang, Glenn Salvage, Beau Fowler, Shane Steyn, William Mickleburgh, Scott Houston, Chris Smith with Gordon Alexander, Gary Webster and Danny John-Jules

Writer: Chee Keong Cheung


images-1Underground gets one thing right, excellent fight choreography. And that’s exactly why this film exists, it’s a fight film. Fans of mixed martial arts will have the fights on rewind and the talking on fast forward. This is your standard Bloodsport retread, twelve cardboard cutouts battle for a cash prize whilst a cartel adjudicate and raise the stakes for some very rich business men who are watching remotely. Obviously, only one of the 12 will be going home with the money – several of which are professional fighters but some are there because they are desperate for the money to get them out of deep hole (zzzz what were you saying? There’s a plot?).

A film of two halves, all the heavy stunt work is done downstairs on the shop floor and all the acting is done upstairs in the office. Neither world troubles the other one until nearer the end. So whilst the 12 stuntmen- cum part time actors duke it out for first place, the real actors bitch and posture trying to out deal each other by pitting their best fighter against another rich opponent’s fighter. It’s a loaded dice as each rich guy is given two fighters at the beginning, so if they have a weak guy that’s set in stone – ill thought out rules. But hey, not my money. Amongst the business men are TV stalwarts Gary Webster (MINDER), Danny John-Jules (RED DWARF) and for all those wondering where Dr. Legg was all those weeks between his appearances in Eastenders, Leonard Fenton (THE ZOMBIE DIARIES) and they do the only lifting required in the acting department (stunt work equivalent for the lunks downstairs). Downstairs the only two with real acting credentials are the wooden Zara Phythian (HE WHO DARES) and the slightly more talented Joey Ansah (GREEN STREET 3) but neither of them get to be the hero (SPOILER!). No the hero is stuntman Mark Strange who plays The Homeless. I almost forgot, to make the cardboard characters extra stiff, none of them have names: instead we get The Model, The Teacher, The Priest, The Foreigner etc. Very boring. Not much seems to be at stake for any of them apart from getting their asses beat, most of the  characters get to go home with a ‘blankety blank cheque book and pen’ too. The reason for a movie like this is that usually the tournament that is centre to the tale is usually a stand out bout in which characters buck the trend or wreck proceedings for future years, but in  Underground it seems like they picked a ‘filler’ year. There’s one winner and eleven losers – wow! It just seems to be business as usual.  There might be a sequel but the stakes are too low for this to engage to invest in any of the fighters. The closest thing we get to a protagonist is Leonard Fenton and later Mark Strange (who also produces – surprise surprise!) once the field thins out – maybe it’s being experimental. A flick with no characters. The whole film has a remarkably stripped down feel, it wishes it was sleek but that will come with larger budgets.

The filmmakers certainly know how to shoot a fight and cast talented fighters. To say it’s for people with low attention spans is an insult to the work that’s gone into framing these wonderful fight scenes, so fans of fighting could do a lot worse than tune in. But like I said, fast forward the slim traces of story line just like you would if you were watching a porno – in fact Underground is the absolute polar opposite of an art house movie. Red Dwarf fans get in line for a good Danny John Jules role too. He has much fun as the closest this film has to an antagonist. It’s weird how this is the only film I’ve ever rated him in!

3.5 out of 10 – Action fans only. This is a pure action film almost to the point of pushing the need for individual characters out of the film completely. Stunning fight work save this bargain basement tribute to Bloodsport or Kick Boxer from being a total loss but it’s not for everybody! But then nor is Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.

Second review below by Matt CRUSHER Usher