7 out of 10


Release date: 11th December 2015

Director: Jake Gavin

Cast: Peter Mullan, Natalie Gavin, Sarah Solemani, Keith Allen, Laurie Ventry,  Ewan Stewart, James Tarpey, Christine Tremarco,  Darren Connolly, Hardeep Singh Kohli, Finlay McLean, Sharon Rooney, with Gina McKee and Stephen Tompkinson

Writer: Jake Gavin

Trailer: HECTOR


  • Peter Mullan: Keepers, Sunset Song, Sunshine On Leith, Hercules (2014), The LiabilityWelcome To The PunchThe Man Inside (2012), War Horse, TyrannosaurNeds, True North, Children Of Men, Criminal (2004), The Magdalene Sisters (director), On a Clear Day, Young Adam, The Claim (2000), Orphans (director), Miss Julie, My Name Is Joe, Trainspotting, Shallow Grave, Riff Raff
  • Natalie Gavin: The Knife That Killed Me, The Arbor, Shameless (TV)
  • Sarah Solemani: Bridget Jones 3, The Bad Education Movie, The Wrong Mans (TV), Psychobitches (TV), Bad Education (TV)
  • Keith Allen: Vengeance, 2Hrs, Eddie The Eagle, North V SouthBlood Shot, The Last Showing, Vinyl, The Magnificent Eleven, Come On Eileen, The Good Night, De-Lovely, 24 Hour Party People, The Others, Rancid Aluminium, Preaching To The Perverted, Twin Town, Trainspotting, Loch Ness, Blue Juice, Shallow Grave, Second Best, Captives, Beyond Bedlam, The Young Americans. The Comic Strip (TV), Carry On Columbus, Rebecca’s Daughters, Kafka, Making Out (TV), Chicago Joe & The Showgirl, Scandal, The Supergrass
  • Laurie Ventry: The Magdalene Sisters, Late Night Shopping
  • Ewan Stewart: Florence Foster Jenkins, Valhalla Rising, One Last Chance, Young Adam, The Closer You Get, Titanic (1997), Stella Does Tricks
  • James Tarpey: Robot Overlords, The Beat Beneath My Feet
  • Christine Tremarco: ID2, Casualty (TV), Outcast (2010), Waterloo Road (TV), Anita & Me, Clocking Off (TV), Face, Under The Skin (1997), Priest (1994)
  • Darren Connolly: The Caravan
  • Hardeep Singh Kohli: The Wright Stuff (TV), Meet The Magoons (TV), The One Show (TV), Celebrity Masterchef (TV)
  • Finlay McLean: Regeneration
  • Sharon Rooney: My Mad Fat Diary (TV)
  • Gina McKee: Line of Duty (TV), In The Loop, When Was The Last Time You Saw Your Father, Atonement, Scenes of a Sexual Nature, The Adventures of Greyfriars Bobby, Mirrormask, The Forsyte Saga (TV), The Lost Prince, The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, There’s Only One Jimmy Grimble, Wonderland (2000), Notting Hill, The Loss of Sexual Innocence, Croupier, Brass Eye (TV), Our Friends In The North (TV), Naked, Wilt, The Rachel Papers, The Lenny Henry Show (TV), The Lair of the White Worm
  • Stephen Tompkinson: Walk Like a Panther, A Dark Reflection, DCI Banks (TV), Detective Harrigan, Truckers (TV) Prime Suspect 7 (TV), Hotel Splendide, Drop The Dead Donkey (TV), Brassed Off, All Quiet On The Preston Front (TV), Minder (TV), Chancer (TV)


2 out of 10


Release date: 5th May 2017

Director: Michael Apted (Bloodlines (TV) / Masters of Sex (TV) / Chasing Mavericks / The Chronicles of Narnia – Voyage of the Dawn Treader / Amazing Grace / Enough / Enigma / James Bond – The World Is Not Enough / Always Outnumbered / Extreme Measures / Nell / Blink / Thunderheart / Class Action / Gorillas In The Mist / Critical Condition / Firstborn / Gorky Park / P’tang Yang Kipperbang / The Coal Miner’s Daughter / The Squeeze / Stardust (1974) / Coronation Street (TV))

Cast: Noomi Rapace, Orlando Bloom, Toni Collette, Aymen Hamdouchi, Tosin Cole, Matthew Marsh, Philip Brodie, Michael Epp, Makram Khoury, Akshay Kumar, Tom Reed, Adedayo Adelayo with Michael Douglas and John Malkovich

Writer: Peter O’Brien



  • Noomi Rapace: Alien – Covenant, The Drop, Man Down, Passion (2012), Prometheus, Sherlock Holmes 2, Beyond (2010), The Girl Who Kicked The Hornets’ Nest, The Girl Who Played With Fire, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (2009)
  • Orlando Bloom: Pirates of the Caribbean 5, The Hobbit – Battle of the Five Armies,  The Hobbit – The Desolation of Smaug, Zulu (2013), The Three Musketeers (2011), New York I Love You, Pirates of the Caribbean 3, Pirates of the Caribbean 2, Elizabethtown, Kingdom of Heaven, Troy, The Calcium Kid, The Lord of the Rings – Return of the King, The Lord of the Rings – The Two Towers, The Lord of the Rings – Fellowship of the Ring, Black Hawk Down
  • Toni Collette: xXx 3, Blinky Bill Movie (voice), Krampus, Miss You Already, Glassland, The Boxtrolls (voice), Hector and the Search For Happiness, Tammy, A Long Way Down, The Way Way Back, Mental, Hitchcock, Fright Night (2011), The Like Minds, The Dead Girl, The Night Listener, Little Miss Sunshine, In Her Shoes, A Japanese Story, The Hours, Dirty Deeds, About a Boy, Changing Lanes, Hotel Splendide, Shaft, The Sixth Sense, 8.5 Women, Velvet Goldmine, The Boys, The James Gang, Clockwatchers, Emma (1996), The Pallbearer, Cosi, Muriel’s Wedding, Spotswood
  • Aymen Hamdouchi: 6 Days, iBoy, War Machine, Anti-Social, We Are Monster, Snow In Paradise, Dying of the Light, My Brother The Devil, Sightseers, Green Zone
  • Tosin Cole: Burning Sands, Honeytrap, Gone Too Far, Hollyoaks (TV)
  • Matthew Marsh: Da Vinci’s Demons (TV), Red Tails, Luther (TV), Spooks (TV), An American Haunting, Quicksand, Bad Company, Miranda, Spy Game, Genghis Cohn, Dirty Weekend, Chancer (TV), Mountains of the Moon, Diamond Skulls, The Fourth Protocol, The Monocled Mutineer (TV)
  • Philip Brodie: Zombie Diaries 2
  • Michael Epp: Another Mother’s Son, Denial, The Childhood of a Leader
  • Makram Khoury: Desert Dancer, Farewell Baghdad, Miral, Lemon Tree, Munich, The West Wing (TV)
  • Akshay Kumar: Shambala, One Crazy Thing, #Legacy
  • Adayo Adelayo: Gone Too Far, Some Girls (TV), Law and Order (UK)
  • Michael Douglas: Antman 2, Antman, Beyond The Reach, Last Vegas, Behind The Candelabra, Haywire, Wall Street 2, Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, You Me & Dupree, The Sentinel, The In-Laws, Don’t Say a Word, One Night At McCools, Traffic, The Wonder Boys, A Perfect Murder, The Game, The Ghost and The Darkness, The American President, Falling Down, Basic Instinct, Shining Through, War of the Roses, Black Rain, Wall Street, Fatal Attraction, A Chorus Line, The Jewel of the Nile, Romancing The Stone, The China Syndrome, Coma, The Streets of San Francisco (TV)
  • John Malkovich: Dominion (2018), Deepwater Horizon, Zoolander 2, RED 2, Warm Bodies, Transformers 3, RED, Jonah Hex, Disgrace, Burn After Reading, The Mutant Chronicles, Beouwulf (mo-cap), Eragon, The Hitchiker’s Guide To The Galaxy, The Libertine, Johnny English, Ripley’s Game, The Dancer Upstairs (dir), Hotel, Shadow of the Vampire, Joan of Arc, Being John Malkovich, Rounders, The Man In The Iron mask (1998), Con Air, The Portrait of a Lady, Mullholland Falls, Mary Reilly, Beyond The Clouds, In The Line of Fire, Alive, Jennifer 8, Of Mice & Men (1992), Shadows & Fog, The Object of Beauty, The Sheltering Sky, Dangerous Liaisons, Empire of the Sun, The Killing Fields, Places In The Heart


4 out of 10


Release date: 1st June 2015 (DVD Premiere)

Director: Warren Dudley (Cage)

Cast: Lucy-Jane Quinlan, Parry Glasshouse, Lydia Orange, Jason Rhodes, Louisa Adams and TJ Herbert

Writer: Warren Dudley



  • Lucy-Jane Quinlan: The Bromley Boys, Cage
  • Parry Glasshouse: Hollyoaks (TV), Hollyoaks Later (TV)
  • Jason Rhodes: The Bromley Boys
  • TJ Herbert: The Bromley Boys, Perfect Break, A Dark Reflection, Family Affairs (TV)


0.5 out of 10

Release date: 1st May 2017 (DVD premiere)

Director: Ilyas Kaduji (Anamorphosis)

Cast: Mark Arnold, Mhairi Calvey, William B Davis, Petra Bryant, Andrei Claude,  Franco Flammia, Buffy Davis and Art Bell with Jack O’Halloran and Sienna Guillory

Writer: Philip Daay & Ilya Kaduji

Trailer: ABDUCT


Quite easily one of the most amateurish, worst and unfinished cheapos I’ve ever seen. This gives king of z-grade trash movies, Steve M Smith a run for his money and lessons in how to make absolutely terrible sci-fis. How the filmmakers (I use that word tentatively) rounded up this number of professional actors and Petra Bryant (THE LAST SCOUT) is a true mystery.  This barely coherent leaking bag of toxic and runny dog shit involves a girl (MHAIRI CALVEY) who has been on the run from aliens and the government all her life? She stumbles into the lives of conspiracy theorist and radio station shock jock, Ridley (MARK ARNOLD – TRANCERS 4) and his farm landlord (WILLIAM B DAVIS – THE X-FILES). They come under siege when the aliens led by Superman veteran Jack O’Halloran as a Man in Black called Alistair turns up and doesn’t do a lot. He does try to lure her out of the kitchen with a funny voice though… Hmmm. Sienna Guillory (DON’T HANG UP) shows up in a weird cameo as if she’s playing dress up in her child’s panto. Everybody is just awful, the fake American accents are some of the worst you’ll ever hear and the special effects are z-grade. You’ll never have seen CGI this soupy in the history of cinema, even if you go back to the 1970s… Ed Wood jr has competition for Plan 9 From Outer Space. There’s nothing to recommend here, even the actors look embarrassed to be caught on film. Witness William B Davis’ in-joke about X-Files and cringe. Witness Petra Bryant succumbing to Russian brain reprogramming ala the Manchurian Candidate. Witness people get shot and recover instantly (and they aren’t the aliens – just victims of bad storytelling). This gives Invasion Earth by Steven M Smith a really good rival in a race to bottom of worst low-budget horror films ever made.

0.5 out of 10 – Avoid at all costs. The cast may draw you in with curiosity but for the most part it’s littered with ludicrous cameos, badly directed scenes, non-acting, over-acting, nonsensical plots. Alien’s really are here. They made this film.


  • Mark Arnold: Anamorphosis, Trancers 5, Trancers 4, Threesome, Teen Wolf, The Edge of Night (TV)
  • William B Davis: The X-Files (TV), The Tall Man, Passengers (2008), Smallville (TV), Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, The X Files Movie, Unforgettable (1996), Beyond The Stars
  • Petra Bryant: Nightmare on 34th Street,  The Last Scout, The Disappearance of Lenka Wood, Meet The Firm – White Collar Hooligan 3
  • Buffy Davis: The Night Manager (TV), The Archers (radio), Doc Martin (TV), Until Death, The Machinist
  • Jack O’Halloran: The Flintstones, Dragnet, Superman II, Superman, King Kong (1976)
  • Sienna Guillory: Don’t Hang Up, Fortitude (TV), Lucky Man (TV), High-RiseThe Goob, Luther (TV), Resident Evil 5, Resident Evil 4, Inkheart, Eragon, Resident Evil 3, Love Actually, The Principles of Lust, The Time Machine (2002), Late Night Shopping, Sorted


6.5 out of 10


Release date: 12th May 2017 (DVD premiere)

Director: David Blair (The Messenger (2016) / Best Laid Plans (2012))

Cast: Timothy Spall, Juno Temple, Matt Ryan, Hayley Squires, Joanna Roth, Reece Noi, Tony Pitts with Terry Stone and Susan Lynch

Writer: Roger Hadfield

Trailer: AWAY


  • Timothy Spall: Early Man (voice), The Journey, Denial, Alice In Wonderland 2 (voice), Mr TurnerThe Love PunchThe RiseLove BiteComes a Bright Day, Ginger and RosaThe King’s Speech, Harry Potter – parts 3 – 8, Wake Wood, Reuniting The Rubins, Heartless,  Alice In Wonderland (2011) (voice), Apaloosa, The Damned Utd, Sweeney Todd, Pierrepoint, Lemony Snickets Series of Unfortunate Events, The Last Samurai, Nicholas Nickleby (2002),  All Or Nothing, Vanilla Sky, Rock Star, Lucky Break, Chicken Run (voice), Loves Labours Lost,  Topsy Turvy, Still Crazy, Wisdom Of Crocodiles, Hamlet (1996), Secrets & Lies, Life Is Sweet, The Sheltering Sky, White Hunter Black Heart, To Kill a Priest, The Missionary, Auf Wierdesen Pet (TV), Quadrophenia
  • Juno Temple: Vinyl (TV), Black Mass, Far From The Madding Crowd (2015), Sin City 2, Maleficent, Horns, Lovelace, The Dark Knight Rises, Small Apartments, Killer Joe, The Three Musketeers (2011), Kaboom, Greenberg, St Trinians 2, Glorious 39, Mr Nobody, Cracks, Year One, Wild Child, The Other Boleyn Girl, St Trinians (2007), Atonement, Notes On a Scandal
  • Matt Ryan: Constantine (TV)
  • Hayley Squires: Giantland, I Daniel Blake, Blood Cells
  • Reece Noi: K-Shop, Game of Thrones (TV), Waterloo Road (TV), Emmerdale (TV), Doctors (TV), Grange Hill (TV), The Virgin of Liverpool, My Kingdom
  • Tony Pitts: Journeyman, Line of Duty (TV), Star Wars – Rogue One, Peaky Blinders (TV), Hyena
  • Terry Stone: We Still Steal The Old Way, Once Upon a Time In London, Rise of the Footsoldier 3, Fanged Up, Bonded By Blood 2, Plastic, Get LuckyOutside BetAnuvahood,  The HoldingBonded By BloodShankTen Dead MenJack SaidDoghouseUnarmed and DangerousRise Of The Foot SoldierRollin’ With The Nines, Hell To Pay
  • Susan Lynch: The Secret Scripture, The Scouting Book For Boys, City Rats, Someone Else, Holy Waters, Enduring Love, 16 Years Of Alcohol, Nora,Waking Ned, From Hell, Elizabeth I – The Golden Age, Beautiful Creatures, Downtime, The Secret Of Roan Inish



3 out of 10


Release date: 21st June 2011 (DVD Premiere)

Director: Mark Harriot & Mike Matthews

Cast: David Paisley, Christina DeVallee, Jonathan Keane, Jill Riddiford and David McGillivray

Writer: Mark Harriot & Mike Matthews


  • David Paisley: River City (TV), Holby City (TV), Casualty (TV)
  • David McGillivray: The House of Whipcord


7 out of 10


Release date: 14th April 2017

Director: Ritesh Batra (The Lunchbox)

Cast: Jim Broadbent, Harriett Walter, Michelle Dockery, Emily Mortimer, Billy Howle, Freya Mavor, Joe Alwyn, James Wilby, Edward Holcroft, Peter Wight, Hilton McRae, Jack Loxton, Timothy Innes, Andrew Buckley, Nick Mohammed, Karina Fernandez, Oliver Maltman, David Horovitch with Matthew Goode and Charlotte Rampling

Writer: Julian Barnes / Nick Payne



  • Jim Broadbent: Black 47, Paddington 2, Bridget Jones 3, Ethel and Ernest (voice), The Legend of Tarzan, Eddie The Eagle, London Spy (TV), War & Peace (TV), Brooklyn, The Lady In a Van, Big Game, Get Santa, Paddington, Postman Pat (voice), The Harry Hill Movie, Closed Circuit, Le Week-EndFilth, Cloud Atlas, The Iron Lady, Another Year, Harry Potter- part 8, Harry Potter- part 6, Arthur Christmas (voice), The Damned United, Young Victoria, Inkheart, Indiana Jones 4, Hot Fuzz, Chronicles Of Narnia- The Lion The Witch and The Wardrobe, Bridget Jones 2, Vera Drake, Vanity Fair, Bright Young Things, Nicholas Nickleby (2002), Gangs Of New York, Iris, Moulin Rouge, Bridget Jones, Little Voice, Topsy Turvy, The Avengers, The Borrowers, Smilla’s Feeling For Snow, The Secret Agent, Rough Magic, Richard III (1995), Princess Caraboo, Bullets Over Broadway, Widow’s Peak, The Crying Game, Enchanted April, Life Is Sweet, Erik The Viking, Vroom, Brazil
  • Harriet Walter: Blakc Sails (TV), Call The Midwife (TV), Star Wars – The Force Awakens, Man Up, Suite Francaise, Downton Abbey (TV), The Assets (TV),  The Wedding Video (2012), Morris – A Life With Bells On, Law & Order UK (TV), Cheri, Atonement, Babel, Chromophobia, Onegin, The Governess, Bedrooms & Hallways, Keep The Aspidistra Flying, The Leading Man, The Hour of The Pig, Sense & Sensibility
  • Michelle Dockery: Downton Abbey (TV), Self/Less,  Non-Stop, Anna Karenina (2012), Hanna
  • Emily Mortimer: Mary Poppins Returns, Spectral, Rio I Love You, Hugo, Cars 2 (voice), Shutter Island, Harry Brown, The Pink Panther 2, Redbelt, Lars and the Real Game, Paris Je T’Aime, Match Point, Howl’s Moving Castle (voice), Dear Frankie, Bright Young Things, Young Adam, Formula 51, Lovely & Amazing, The Kid (2000), Love’s Labours Lost, Scream 3, Notting Hill, Elizabeth I, The Last of the High Kings, The Ghost and The Darkness
  • Billy Howle: On Chesil Beach
  • Freya Mavor: Cezanne at Moi, Not Another Happy Ending, Sunshine On Leith, Skins (TV)
  • Joe Alwyn: The Favourite, Billy Lynn’s Long Half-Time Walk
  • James Wilby: Breathe, Casualty (TV), ChickLit, Titanic (TV), De-Lovely, Gosford Park, Cotton Mary, Tom’s Midnight Garden, An Ideal Husband, Regeneration, Crocodile Shoes (TV), Lady Chatterley (TV), Immaculate Conception, Howard’s End, A Handful of Dust, Maurice, Privileged
  • Edward Holcroft: Kingsman 2, London Spy (TV), Kingsman – The Secret Service, Wolf Hall (TV), Vampire Academy
  • Peter Wight: Another Mother’s Son, Trespass Against Us, Ethel & Ernest (voice), Kon Tiki, Mr Turner, The Look Of Love, My Week With MarilynHardboiled SweetsGhosted, Best Laid Plans (2012)CloneAnother YearCass, Hot Fuzz, Babel, Flood, Pride & Prejudice (2005), Vera Drake, Shiner, Naked, Mean Time
  • Hilton McRae: Darkest Hour, Denial, The Execution of Gary Glitter, Red Riding (TV), Doctors (TV), The Secret Rapture, Greystoke, Star Wars – Return of the Jedi, The French Lieutenant’s Woman
  • Timothy Innes: Daphne
  • Andrew Buckley: Identicals, The Bunker (2016),  Jimi, Skeletons, Extras (TV)
  • Nick Mohammed: Bridget Jones 3, Absolutely Fabulous – The MovieBenny & Jolene
  • Karina Fernandez: Daphne, Mr TurnerPride (2014), Another Year, Happy Go Lucky
  • Oliver Maltman: The Mercy, Mr Turner, Another Year, Happy Go Lucky
  • David Horovitch: The Chamber (2017), The Infiltrator, Mr Turner, In Your Dreams, Young Victoria, Max, Solomon & Gaenor, Just William (TV)
  • Matthew Goode: Birthmarked, Guernsey, The Hatton Garden Job, Allied, Self/Less, Pressure, The Imitation Game, Belle, Stoker, Cemetery Junction, Watchmen, A Single Man, Leap Year, Brideshead Revisted, Imagine Me & You, Match Point
  • Charlotte Rampling: Assassin’s Creed, The Forbidden Room, 45 Years, Broadchurch (TV), London Spy (TV), Dexter (TV), Night Train To Lisbon, The Sea, Nymphomaniac, Eye of the Storm, The Invisible Woman, I, AnnaCleanskin, elancholia, Never Let Me Go, Streetdance, The Duchess, Babylon AD, Basic Instinct 2, Swimming Pool, I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead, Spy Game, Under The Sand, The Wings Of The Dove, Paris By Night, DOA (1987), Angel Heart, Max Mon Amour, The Verdict, Stardust Memories, Orca, Sherlock Holmes in New York (TV), Jackpot, Farewell My Lovely, Caravan to Vaccares, The Night Porter, Zardoz, Henry VIII and His Six Wives, Vanishing Point, Asylum, The Damned, Georgy Girl